.dreamrain.

awal dan akhir

2011-12-30T22:09:00.000-08:00

tahun ini ..
aku mengawali nya dengan sesuatu yang baik .. kerja baru, pindah ke luar negeri, bertemu dengan seseorang yang mencintai aku dengan apa adanya .. semua diawali dengan indah .. tak ada yang bisa kurasakan kecuali semua yang indah ..

seiring dengan perjalanan 2011, semua berlalu begitu cepat .. hingga akhirnya suatu hal yang harus membuatku terjatuh lagi.. diawali dengan perginya dia, orang yang selama ini kucinta .. begitu saja tanpa pesan pesan, dan kemudian pun aku harus memutuskan utk meninggalkan apa yang sudah aku dapatkan disini .. hanya demi dia .. walaupun aku tahu kemungkinan untuk mendapatkan dia itu amatlah kecil .. tapi aku akan tetap berusaha utk mendapatkan dia kembali .. kali ini, kukorbankan karir aku demi seorang wanita, wanita yang ternyata adalah sejatiku .. yang selama ini aku mencari ..

dan aku sadari, tempatku bukan disini .. seharusnya aku tidak pergi tapi tetap di jakarta .. bersama dia ..

tahun ini .. aku akhiri dengan semua kehilangan ..
termasuk kehilangan jiwa aku ..

2011-12-11T23:15:00.000-08:00

sudah hampir sebulan ..
aku masih menginginkannya

Fade to black - Metallica

2011-12-08T20:58:00.001-08:00

Life, it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters, no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Can't stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye,

*Goodbye*

in the end

2011-12-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

In spite of the way you were left me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me I'm surprised it got so

Delicate by Damien Rice

2011-12-08T19:44:00.000-08:00

We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate

So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?

We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate

So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?

So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why do you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?

....

why u let me fall in when u know it will not working in the end ?
why we have to keep all in secret ..

what u tought about u

2011-12-08T19:42:00.000-08:00

when u asking other people to give their attention to you, have you ever think to give your attention to them ?

ijinkan aku untuk mati malam ini

2011-11-29T09:23:00.000-08:00

sudah 9 bulan .. gak kerasa, semua masih seperti kemarin. saat baru pertama kali sampai di singapore ini. 9 bulan ternyata cepat berjalan. 9 bulan aku berusaha utk bisa survive. dari keras kehidupan disini .. kehidupan stagnant .. seperti robot robot pekerja yg hidupnya hanya utk bekerja .. bangun pagi .. kerja pulang malam .. tanpa henti .. kehidupan nyaman hanya bisa di beli .. tidak bisa dinikmati ..
tempaan hidup terus dan terus menekan .. wajah wajah mati .. jiwa jiwa hampa ..
aku hanya bisa berjalan .. pelan .. telusuri pinggiran jalan ..

bersandiwara .. di depan kaca .. di depan mereka .. bahagia semu .. makan atau dimakan .. bersandar pada pilar beton .. pada beranda .. habiskan berkaleng kaleng alkohol .. menanti satu masa lekas berakhir ..

sedangkan dirinya .. menambah beban tekanan dengan semua permintaan ambigu .. membunuhku perlahan .. dan kemudian campakan aku pada tepian sampah sampah malam .. kau selingkuh .. selingkuh dengan imaginasiku sendiri .. dan itu dosa besar untuknya . tak termaafkan ..

harusnya kusudahi saja catatan perjalanan ini .. marah yang memendam di dada .. perlahan gerogoti perlahan nyawa ini .. perlahan aku memudar .. dilupakan .. terlupakan ..

apalah aku .. sampah yang terbawa angin .. jatuh pada pualam kaca .. tetaplah sampah ..

Jika Kau ijinkan ... sudahi saja aku ...
sudah terlalu kotor disini .. tak layak lagi aku ..
jangan Kau ingatkan akan matahari .. panasnya hanya membuat ku berkeringat .. yang kemudian akan membuat ku masuk angin ... biaya obat mahal ..

dia yang berjanji utk membasuh kepalaku .. tak lagi disini .. ingkari janjinya .. pergi turuti temannya ... sedangkan aku tak ada lagi .. tidak pernah ada ..

hanya pada benda mati dan masturbasi aku kembali .. menghitung detik tiap detik yang terus perlahan beranjak ..

teman baikku .. imaginasi maya ..
dia yg kucinta .. tak pernah ada .. tak pernah nyata .. pergi disaat mereka bosan .. tingalkan aku duduk termenung .. dibawah jembatan malam gelisah .. gundah ..
jika saja aku boleh .. hujamkan pisau ini .. pada dada .. agar terpancar semua .. keluar pergi hilang semua gelisah ...
terkubur ku pada resah .. mati ..
sedikit saja .. bunuh resah ini ..

aku tak tahan lagi ...

Until we Bleed

2011-11-29T07:41:00.001-08:00

I'm naked
I'm numb
I'm stupid
I'm staying
And if Cupid's got a gun, then he's shootin'

Lights black
Heads bang
You're my drug
We live it
You're drunk, you need it
Real love, I'll give it

So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

You wasted your times
On my heart
You've burned
And if bridges gotta fall, then you'll fall, too

Doors slam
Lights black
You're gone
Come back
Stay gone
Stay clean
I need you to need me

So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

since u left

2011-11-28T03:30:00.000-08:00

I went to the doctor guess what he told me
guess what he told me he said man you better try to have fun
no matter what you do but i'am a fool

I know that living with you, baby, was sometimes hard but I'm willing to give it another try

sinnead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 u

2011-11-27T07:14:00.000-08:00

Im gonna die in the place that dont know my name, so i will no longer bother anyone else.

Hilang

2011-11-27T06:44:00.000-08:00

Berapa lama lagi kah waktu yang tersisa ..
Wajah lelah ..
Tanpa jiwa .. Berkelana
Telusuri waktu yang mereka punya
Kemana ?
Tak bertanya ..

Long Distance Relationshit..

2011-11-22T08:02:00.000-08:00

A long-distance relationship (LDR) is typically an intimate relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by a considerable distance.

How to Stay Connected

Before the popularity of Internet dating, long-distance relationships were not as common, as the primary forms of communication between the lovers usually involved either telephone conversations or corresponding via mail. However, with the advent of the Internet, long-distance relationships have exploded in popularity as they become less challenging to sustain with the use of modern technology. Technologies including cell phones, e-mail, online chatting and video conferencing have made it possible to keep in touch. Other forms of communication frequently employed by partners in long-distance relationships include:
Letters
Text messaging
VoIP programs
Social networking websites
Shared online activities (e.g., online games such as MMORPGs)
Shared offline activities (e.g., watching the same movie while talking on the phone and listening to the same songs on radio at same time while talking on phone)

but ..

when above all become so overated then yours will be called Long Distance Relationshit

2011-10-07T04:31:00.000-07:00

bleeding again
its the third times ..
itulah makanya knp pinggang gue pegel banget dan sakit kmaren .. ternyata ..

what should i do ..

selesai sudah harimu

2011-10-07T01:22:00.001-07:00

apalah dirimu
yang datang saat baru tiba
harapan dan mimpi
sapa ramah yang kau terima

apalah dirimu
senja telah tiba
lupakan mimpi
harapan mati
namamu tak terdengar lagi ..

terlupakan ..
selesai sudah harimu

pada benda mati

2011-10-07T01:15:00.001-07:00

kurasakan kembali sakit ini
setelah sekian lama tak pernah lagi kurasa
sejak kubunuh sudah rasa tersebut
ku tak ingin kembali sakit ..
hanya pada diriku ku percaya ..

kini sakit lagi
aku tlah terlalu jauh ..
kekecewaan .. ditinggalkan ..
getir senyum ..

hanya benda benda mati ini
yang selalu masih setia ..
pada janji ..

im not excited .. seharusnya dia yg ada disini

2011-09-16T00:18:00.000-07:00

this weekend, gue bakal jalan ke bintan .. for vacation .. gue sudah plan ini acara dari 2 bulan lalu, and why took so long ? because we have to reserve the place first and got staff rate.

seharusnya gue excited karena hanya tinggal bbrp jam lagi . but im not excited .. i dunno why .. moodi brubah .. and im bored already ..

sometimes .. gue slalu berharap gue bisa pergi sama Mas Rama ..
teringat dua bulan lalu, terakhir ketemu dia .. and he asked me utk ke hotel di ancol .. stay there and brenang bareng .. waktu itu juga gue janjiin sama dia utk brenang. but on that day .. dia sakit .. dan berkepanjangan ..
Mas Rama tidak pernah protes jika janji yg diberikan ke dia itu batal . tapi hal tersebut akan tetap ada di pikiran dia .. dan oneday pasti akan di tagih kembali ..

sepertinya ... aku sudah lama tidak pernah lagi jalan jalan bareng sama dia kecuali pergi ke mall .. dan buat ku mall adalah tempat yg paling membosankan ..
i want to take him to the zoo or beach or else .. but gue slalu terdesak oleh waktu ..

sometimes i wish i can take him ketemu si angeline, and not all my family have met him yet.

i wish someday ..

pada akhirnya

2011-09-15T09:46:00.002-07:00

2009 ..
that tahun terakhir gue "blogging" , ntah mengapa gue sendiri juga mendadak berenti untuk menulis .. mungkin saat itu adalah saat gue turning over dari menulis menjadi motret dan terus motret. dan gue merasa dari motret gue bisa menginterpretasikan apa yg gue maksud. tapi nyatanya kadang imagi yg tercipta jauh di luar apa yang gue mau ...

and in the end .. mulai corat coret tapi semua hanya di simpan di kepala saja .. tanpa bisa di keluarkan dan di curahkan semuanya .. now i realize bahwa sebenernya gue lebih mampu utk mencurahkan semua dalam tulisan .. walaupun masih tetap berusaha untuk konsisten dalam hal fotografi. dan selama ini, ntah sudah berapa puluh poto yg aku buat dan semua menjadi lebih bermakna karena aku bubuhkan bbrp kata kata ..

emosi emosi yg ada pada foto yang gue buat merupakan emosi dari dalam diri ini. dan hanya bbrp orang saja yg tahu.

well eniwei aku msh ada keinginan utk membuat gambar dan tulisan ...

and now .. start over again .. new writing .. new stories ..

Leo in 2009

2009-01-19T08:16:00.000-08:00

2009 would be an eventful year for you although there would be some rise in hurdles in comparison to last two years. You still run a powerful phase, although there would be personal pressures at all times. Family life, marital matters, joint areas of work as well as personal life could be trying till the 17 th of May 2009 .

You will find your focus would be high but dealing with work pressures as well as people around you will rise.

Work environment will change rapidly and you will not be able to do much. It would be useful to go with the flow and not create too many hurdles in the process of change. The overall scenario will turn good after May 2009 commences.

Marital/ family life wills pickup between May and July 2009, while now ideas / partnerships could also come about.

If unmarried, strong chances of a sudden marriage proposal present between 16 th June 2009 and 31 st July 2009 .

Health and career could suffer some unexpected reversals between 1 st August 2009 and 17 th October 2009 . You should handle this period with caution. Confrontation with seniors is avoidable till 20 th December 2009 .

Status and career will still remain in a powerful phase till 9 th September 2009 . You will be focused and dynamic in whatever you do till this period.

10 th September 2009 onwards some pressure on account of family life could begin. There could be monetary pressures too. You should be conservative in speech, family life and monetary commitments till end of the year.

Money matters will be quite positive as the year commences. There will be good luck and gains till end August 2009.

10 th September 2009 onwards you will find monetary pressures will rise.

A gradual increase in outflows will be felt and you need to be conservative overall in this regard till end of the year.

Income will be quite positive throughout. There will be an exceptional rise between May 2009 and July 2009. You will feel erratic phase during January, May and September 2009.

Investment would remain unreliable mostly this year.

There would be sudden new events in investments. New investment should be totally avoided since these options could be misleading and unreliable mostly. Some improvement could come between May and July 2009, when you can rationalize your exposure. There could be issues again after September 2009 commences.

Despite all events work will remain dynamic and positive till end October 2009. 3 rd November 2009 onwards you could find pessimism in work as well as love life. It is a time to view work and other avenues of life more conservatively.

Love life and investment could cause worry after 3 rd November 2009 . Worries connected with children could go up also after 3 rd November 2009 .

At the beginning of the year 7 th March to 19 th April 2009 could bring volatile trends in career. It would be useful to avoid major changes during this phase. You will find the year would be more challenging towards the end compared to the beginning. It would be useful to remain as conservative as possible this year.

....

Career will remain high on activity as well as priority this year.

You will be work oriented and positive mostly till 10th September 2009. There will be a high level of efforts and energy into what you do.

Work area could experience politics but there will be growth too.

Career will get into a difficult but progressive phase between 27th January 2009 and 31st May 2009. You will experience a hyperactive phase between 7th March 2009 and 19th April 2009. You should work hard but not try to change the career path during this time.

If in a business, you will remain ultra focused but under stress during the period till 17th May 2009. If you work with partners or associates, the relations could be strained and stressed mostly till 17th May 2009 too.

Still due to hard work and a positive impact mostly, progress and gains in career will continue. 10th September 2009 onwards there would be a slowdown in work and hurdles could be experienced.

High expenses and some waste in business could come also.

Overheads would rise and reach unreasonable level after 3rd November 2009.

If in a job, there will be a high stress and pressure from superiors till the 17th May 2009. Changes in job environment could come suddenly and you might feel the need to take a challenge or major decision.

It is not advised that you do so before 17th May 2009. Improvements will come after May 2009 begins but a rise in pressures and some setbacks due to actions of the January and April 2009 phase could come after August 2009 commences. The period till 17th October 2009 could be trying still.

A latent support of a superior could go away by end October 2009 which might create issues in job environment.

If working as a professional, you will have an average year mostly.

Pressures will remain till 17th May 2009 but progress will come too. February, July, August and September 2009 would be gainful, while a dip could come post October 2009.

Summer Fashion Catalog Model Needed

2008-12-19T05:35:00.000-08:00

utk kebutuhan klient kami yaitu summer fashion katalog. take shoot akan di laksanakan di thailand.

kondisi :

1. minimun tinggi : 168
2. badan proposional
3. umur diatas 16 tahun

ketentuan lain :

1. composite new portofolio ( dilakukan oleh management )
2. mempunyai passport
3. legal kontrak dengan management
4. audisi pertama di jkt

Benefit :
1. akomodasi di tanggung oleh management.
2. salary : US$ 2000 / kontrak

send your portofio to j_gatorz@yahoo.com

unforbidden shadows

2008-09-05T03:17:00.000-07:00

bayang terlarang dirimu
tergambar dalam pada jejak langkah lalu
larikan diri kepada ruang tepian tak berujung
lagi satu kehidupan terhenti
satu permulaan berawal
saat tak ada lagi gema pada sepi ini
dirimu tak ada lagi bersamaku

- unforbidden shadows -
sept 2008

Trip to Untung Jawa

2008-09-01T23:03:00.000-07:00

Pulau Untung Jawa
Sep 1, '08 2:26 AM
for everyone
Buat para angkoterz...

Semoga bermanfaat :

Bus Transjakarta ke KaliDeres : 3500
KaliDeres - Pintu Air : 4000, mikrolet Kalideres-Kotabumi, warna putih hijau
Pintu Air- Kampung Melayu : 4000, elf
Kampung Melayu - Tanjung Pasir : 4000, carry putih, elfnya nurunin di pasar, jadi untuk nyari angkot ini harus jalan ke lebih depan lagi, nyampe perempatan tempat angkotnya ngetem
Tanjung Pasir - Pulau : 7500, uang angkot dapat dibayar nanti setelah pulang asal kita pulang naek kapal yg sama dengan waktu perjanjian, saran saya, langsung bayar aja, jadi pulangnya gak perlu harus naek kapal itu lagi, bisa naek kapal yg laen..nyebrang dari sini cuma setengah jam..kalo dari Muara Angke mpe satu jam...

Sewa sepeda 5000/jam, itungannya, tapi aku pake kayaknya hampir 2jam, bayarnya tetep 5000...ini aku nyewa di warung depan toilet deket dermaga..

Makan berdua 30.000 dengan menu : nasi, lalap, sambal, ikan kakap merah bakar ukuran sedang, cumi asam manis (lumayan banyak buat berdua), es teh tawar
Es kelapa muda utuh : 6000

Kalo buat mobilerz, di Tanjung Pasir ada parkiran mobil kok...

Im Sick - Im Alone - Im Broke . and damned it's my bday ..

2008-07-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

umumnya .. orang akan get excite .. when the day it come near especially on the birthday .. call all friends .. make some party .. or maybe going out with someone special .. spent whole day ..
and lot of them praise for better year .. better luck ... better day ..

but not on meh ... that feeling been gone ... just like what i deal tonite ..
im sick .. im alone .. and im broke and shit .. this is my bday ..

im expecting waiting a call to ask me to celebrate .. but none .. even not from my ex wife .. or my son ...

ironic is it ..

gue berharap di email gue bakal terima ucapan .. but none .. ...
where is all my lover .. are they forgot or didn't know at all .. too busy ..

.. i can't sleep ... been 2 malem .. ga bisa tidur .. gue cuma berpikir ... knapa semua dateng berbarengan .. all the troubles ...

- a sign - who knows ?

-
I've been sittin' here
Tryin' to find myself
I get behind myself
I need to rewind myself

Lookin' for the payback
Listen for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me

And now I feel like number one
Yet I'm last in life
I watch my younger son
And it helps to pass the time

I take too many pills to help to ease the pain
I made a couple of dollar bills still I feel the same

Everybody knows my name
They say it way out loud
A lot of folks fuck me
It's hard to hang out in crowds

I guess that's the price you pay
To be some big shot like I am
Out strecthed hands and one night stands
Still I can't find love

...
kid Rock - OnLy God Knows Why

RamBo - Rama Botak

2008-07-15T01:39:00.001-07:00

culun :D
ini gara gara mo masuk skola besok nya :D

a star on somebody else's sky

2008-07-14T04:47:00.000-07:00

I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life,
I know you’ll be a star
In somebody else’s sky

Dear God

2008-07-07T23:09:00.000-07:00

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
’Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God

Your Love is A Lie

2008-07-07T22:57:00.000-07:00

Simple Plan - Your Love Is A Lie lyrics

I fall asleep by the telephone
It’s two o’clock and I’m waiting up alone
Tell me, where have you been?
I found a note with another name
You blow a kiss but it just don’t feel the same
Cause I can feel that you’re gone

I can’t bite my tongue forever, while you try to play it cool
You can hide behind your stories, but don’t take me for a fool

You can tell me that there’s nobody else (but I feel it)
You can tell me that you’re home by yourself (but I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want, but I know, I know
Your love is just a lie
It’s nothing but a lie

You look so innocent
But the guilt in your voice gives you away
Yeah, you know what I mean
How does it feel when you kiss when you know that I trust you
And do you think about me when he f**ks you?
Could you be more obscene?

So don’t try to say you’re sorry, or try to make it right
And don’t waste your breath because it’s too late, it’s too late

You can tell me that there’s nobody else
You can tell me that you’re home by yourself
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want, but I know, I know
Your love is just a lie (Lie! Lie! Lie!)
It’s nothing but a lie (Lie! Lie! Lie!)
You’re nothing but a lie

- Simple Plan -

in my memory

2008-06-24T22:52:00.000-07:00

and darkness falls in my eyes
and days are far from rosy now
and if i asked for the sky
would you still shelter me
when the sky falls

lonely

2008-05-27T11:32:00.000-07:00

i drew your name
out of the shore
take off our memories
naked
under the fullmoon

silently deeply

a poem for bizantyum

2008-05-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

Unforbidden shadows of you formed yesterday
I ran away to a room here on the bay
Interrupted life again, another new beginning
Where the silence echoes you're no longer with me

Here and now, i feel that i'm embracing freedom
Even though i may be alone, but that's ok

Through the darkness i would walk in the streets
Confessions never seemed to provide me with a release
Held me down and tried to cure me tried to give me reason
But nothing could separate this burdened mind from me

Here and now, i feel that i'm embracing freedom
Even though i may be alone, but that's ok
And looking out to a different sky will disengage me
Absence is never the answer, i know, but it serves as my shade

I do not seek and do not intend to find
A calmer ocean or a sun that will never rise
My world will never change and time will bring you to my thoughts
And i'll move on and then forget you all over again
Moving on, i can forgive you all over again

Here and now, i feel that i'm embracing freedom
Even though i may be alone, but that's ok
And looking out onto a different sky it seems so easy
Absence is never the answer, i know, but it serves as my shade

an excuses

2008-05-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

how to give an excuses to 2 years old boy ..
to make him understand

and he is my own son ...

kebayang mukanya dia yg kecewa ...

Matematika Abad 22

2008-05-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

1. (dari temen matematika UI)

Persamaan 1
Manusia = makan + tidur + kerja + hura-hura
Keledai = makan + tidur
Maka,
Manusia = Keledai + kerja + hura-hura
Maka,
Manusia - hura-hura = Keledai + kerja
Maka,
Manusia yang tidak tau hura-hura = Keledai yang bekerja / Kerja seperti
Keledai

2.
Persamaan 2

Pria = makan + tidur + cari duit
Keledai = makan + tidur
Maka,
Pria = Keledai + cari duit
Maka,
Pria - cari duit = Keledai
Maka,
Pria yang tidak tau cari duit = Keledai

3.
Wanita = makan + tidur + belanja & habisin duit
Keledai = makan + tidur
Maka,
Wanita = Keledai + belanja & habisin duit
Maka,
Wanita - belanja & habisin duit = Keledai
Maka,
Wanita yang tidak tau belanja & habisin duit = Keledai

KESIMPULAN:

Dari Persamaan 2 dan Persamaan 3 :
Pria yang tidak tau cari duit = Wanita yang tidak tau belanja & habisin duit.

Kata lain :
Pria cari duit AGAR wanita tidak menjadi Keledai !
(Postulat 1)
Dan, Wanita belanja & habisin duit AGAR pria tidak menjadi Keledai !

(Postulat 2)

Jadi, kita sampai pada ....
Pria + Wanita = Keledai + cari duit + Keledai + belanja & habisin duit
Maka ... dari Postulat 1 dan 2, kita dapat simpulkan :
Pria + Wanita = 2 Keledai yang hidup berbahagia selama-lamanya. ..!!!!

Pulang

2008-04-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

di tepi kota ini
ku merasa sangat sepi
berdiri di atas karang
ku kenang wajahmu

berikan aku waktu
‘tuk berlabuh ke pelukmu
sadarkan semua niatmu
dan jangan tinggalkan aku
jangan tinggalkan..

*) aku ingin pulang
aku ingin pulang
berikan doamu
agar aku pulang

aku ingin pulang
aku ingin pulang
berikan sayapmu
agar aku pulang

aku ingin cepat pulang
aku ingin cepat pulang
berikan sedikit waktumu
untuk tetap menunggu
tetap menunggu..

....

Nidji - Pulang

Sendiri

2008-04-08T08:01:00.000-07:00

Semua hilang seketika…
saat perasaan ku sedang kau genggam,
ku tahu itu hanya…
rasa takut yang tak pasti,
dari diri mu.

Tapi mengapa,
kau masih saja ada di samping ku,
tak menjauh…
Andai saja kau lepaskan aku..

Engkau tak pernah
biarkan ku sendiri…
ku ingin menjadi,
diri ku kembali….

Ku cuba tuk melupakan,
semua tentang diri mu…
tiap diri mu,
saat aku menutup mat,
bayang mu selalu ada…
di dalam benak ku…

Tapi masih saja,
kau tak pergi juga…
ada di hatiku,
tak menjauh….

Andai saja kau lepaskan aku…..

dan kau tak pernah,
biarkan ku sendiri…
ku ingin menjadi diri ku kembali………
kau tak pernah biarkan ku sendiri..
ku ingin menjadi diri ku kembali……….

hati yang terluka,
kini kan terus menjadi kenangan hidup ku….

Courtersy of

Garasi - Sendiri

Sea World

2008-04-07T08:39:00.000-07:00

It's his bday ..

Bubble gun

2008-04-07T08:35:00.000-07:00

dari gelanggang Samudra mo pulang ada tukang jualan Bubble Gun. Rama lgs ngambil satu tanpa basa basi .. So .. it is because his bday .. so i give anything he want.
trus lgs dimaenin dah tuh. tapi knapa muka nya lempeng dot com gitu ye

kala ku bosan

2008-04-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

kalau kau bosan nan melanda di dinding hati
saat itu kulepas dirimu...
maafkan aku bila selama ini kubagi cintamu dengan dia,
seseorang yang mampu meluluhkanku...

- courtesy of -
Evo - Terlalu Lelah

Menatap Cahaya

2008-04-01T23:50:00.001-07:00

Introducting our new model
Ramabanu Tiesto Aditya

Nikon D60, 18-55VR

kamulah surgaku

2008-03-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

tahukah kamu kuciumimu
di saat terlelap
tahukah kamu kudekap kamu
saat kamu bermimpi

tahukah kamu ya cuma kamu
pemilik hatiku
tahukah kamu hatiku ini
adalah hatimu

tahukah kamu di setiap tidurku
ku kagumi wajahmu
nanti kau kan tahu
nanti kau dengar bahwa aku begitu

kamu, kamu adalah surga yang ada
dalam hidupku dalam kenyataanku
kamu, aku adalah penghuni surga
ucapkan salam pada hidup dan mati

tahukah kamu saat kamu menangis
adalah air mata ku yang jatuh berlinang
tahukah kamu saat kamu tersakiti
adalah aku yang pertama terluka

tahukah kamu ya cuma aku
yang punya cinta untukmu
tahukah kamu ya cuma aku
yang rela mati untukmu

:: The Rock - Kamulah Surgaku ::

Father and Son

2008-02-27T01:42:00.001-08:00

Last Pic taken using D40x
before take off to Lombok

dua bola mata

2008-01-24T04:59:00.002-08:00

dua bola mata
yang dulu pernah ku kenal
kembali menatap ku
meminta ku
tuk kembali

dan aku pun hanya bisa terpejam
dan berharap kedua mata itu tetap ada
menatapku
saat ku buka kembali kedua mata ku

Everything We Had

2008-01-24T04:57:00.000-08:00

You were the only face I'd ever known
I was the light from the lamp on the floor
And only as bright as you wanted me to be
Well I am no gentleman
I can be a prick
And I do regret more than I admit
You have been followed
Back to same place
I sat with you drink for drink
Take the pain out of loving and love won't exist

It was the only place I'd ever known
Turned off the light on my way out the door
I will be watching wherever you go
Through the eyes of a fly on the wall
You have been followed
Back to same place
I sat with you drink for drink
Take the pain out of loving and love won't exist

Well you saw for yourself
The way it played out
For you I am blinded
For you I am blinded
For you

I am no gentleman
I can be a prick
And I do regret more than I admit
You have been followed
Back to same place
I sat with you drink for drink
Take the pain out of loving and love won't exist

Rama n Friends

2008-01-11T00:19:00.000-08:00

disaster ..

2007-12-05T21:51:00.000-08:00

ceritanya semalem abis photo session
pas mo transfer file .. ternyata kena virus lokal
pertama masih aman krn kamera gua masih bisa baca ..
ternyata yg bisa baca cuma kamera begitu di transfer ke PC hilang
tapi gua yakin itu cuma hidden

bingunggg .. helpless .. gimana caranya

tapi inget caranya si lutfhi pake Attrib

cari cari di google ketemu caranya

so ini lah caranya

ATTRIB -R -A -S -H /S /D

:D

kembali lagi dah file gua

:D
hehehehe

Nyuci Sepeda

2007-11-06T21:49:00.000-08:00

:)

my son

restless

2007-11-02T02:21:00.001-07:00

- capek -

ndak jelas .. sudah brp hari ini .. semua tambah tidak jelas
mana gaji belom masuk . tambah lagi claim juga belom masuk
duit tinggal 100 rebu doank ..
hiks capee dahh

why u left me

2007-10-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

i miss u

why u left me

Jejak Jejak

2007-10-31T05:30:00.003-07:00

Pulau Onrust - Pulau Seribu
Jakarta
20102007

Angels of Silence

2007-10-31T05:28:00.000-07:00

Taman Prasasti
Tanah Abang Jakarta
28102007

eVo - Terlalu LeLah

2007-10-17T01:05:00.000-07:00

Kalau ku tenggelam, ku tak berharap kau ada
Untuk menemani, untuk memberi senyum
Terlalu lelah…

Sekian waktu berlalu tak mampu membuatku
Takut kehilangan, tak ingin ku menipu batinku dan batinmu
Terlalu lelah…

Kala kebosanan melanda di dinding hati
Saat itu kulepas dirimu
Maafkan aku bila selama ini kubagi cintamu dengan dia
Seseorang yang mampu meluluhkanku

Hujan telah berhenti, selamat datang kau pelangi
Ini hanya sepenggal kisah
Tentangmu, tentangku dan dirinya
Takkan terlupa, seperti biasa

Kala kebosanan melanda di dinding hati
Saat itu kulepas dirimu
Maafkan aku bila selama ini kubagi cintamu dengan dia
Seseorang yang mampu meluluhkanku

Maafkan aku bila selama ini kubagi cintamu dengan dia
Seseorang yang mampu meluluhkanku
Ooohh…

Kala kebosanan melanda di dinding hati
Saat itu kulepas dirimu
Maafkan aku bila selama ini kubagi cintamu dengan dia
Seseorang yang mampu meluluhkanku

...

Capeee

Lobow - Salah

2007-10-17T00:53:00.000-07:00

sepanjang perjalanan cintamu
kau bilang aku yang paling tangguh
tapi mengapa kau tinggalkan aku
dengan alasan yang tak jelas

apa aku pernah mengeluh
apa aku pernah berlari
saat kau ada masalah
apa aku pernah membual
apa aku tak mengimbangimu
sayang kau menilaiku salah

sepanjang perjalanan cintamu
kau puji setiap waktu
tapi kenyataannya berlawanan
kutak pernah ada baiknya

salah…
salah…
salah…

sayang kau menilaiku salah

salah…

..
bun ...

Kapten - malaikat Cinta

2007-10-17T00:48:00.000-07:00

Kau tlah hancurkan semangat hidupku
Menusuk hatiku
Mengingat dirimu

*Apakah aku bersalah kepadamu
Hingga akhirnya kau pergi tinggalkanku

Kau yang bilang aku terbaik untukmu
Kau yang bilang aku malaikat cintamu
Itu bohoooooongg…
Itu palsuuuu…
Itu bohoooooongg…
Itu palsuuuu…

Ku tlah mencoba menjaga cinta mu
Mencoba mengerti rahasia hati mu

Kau tipu aku, kau khianati semua yang kuberi
Kau tipu aku, menduakan aku

..
i just love this song
but i dun know buat siapa ...

Sepi pada Fitri

2007-10-13T00:12:00.001-07:00

Quiet ..
i miss him

.. maafkan ayah .. nak ..

New Book fr Hardy

2007-10-12T02:44:00.000-07:00

:)
seneng nya

Everything We Had

2007-10-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

You were the only face I'd ever known.
I was the light from the lamp on the floor,
and only as bright as you wanted me to be.
But I am no gentleman, I can be a prick,
and I do regret more than I admit.
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love, and then love won't exist.

It was the only place I'd ever known.
Turned off the light on my way out the door.
I will be watching wherever you go,
through the eyes of a fly on the wall.
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

everything we had, everything we had
Is no longer there, longer there.

I'll be with you wherever you go,
through the eyes of a fly on the wall.

2007-10-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

Resah

Gundah

Waiting

Ujung Jalan

setahun yang lalu

2007-10-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

saat fitri tiba
ku beranikan diriku
tuk menemuimu
memandangmu
menatap senyummu
elus lembut kulit halusmu
cium lembut pipi mu
dan bisikan kata kata
aku cinta padamu

akankah itu kudapat kembali
kali ini ...

- Maya -

2007-10-08T02:10:00.000-07:00

aku mentari tapi tak menghangatkanmu
aku pelangi tak memberi warna di hidupmu
aku sang bulan tak menerangi malammu
aku lah bintang yg hilang ditelan kegelapan

another scene

2007-09-27T02:41:00.000-07:00

BaLi 7 - 15 Sept 2007

new toy

2007-09-27T01:59:00.000-07:00

Nikon D40x :)

uhuy

- empty -

2007-09-23T23:54:00.000-07:00

kosong ...

hanya ada asbak dan beberapa puntung rokok sisa tadi malam

sisa sisa bergelut dengan dinding dingin

yang terus menghantui ku

mebawaku kedalam kesendirianku

Where Dead Angels Lie

2007-09-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

A spell was cast an the sky turned red
The angel's heart froze to ice
In the gloomy sky black clouds were gathering
The silence was broken by cries
A spell was cast an the sky turned red
The angel's heart froze to ice
In the gloomy sky
The silence where dead angels lie

Hunting

2007-08-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

dah lama kan ndak moto moto .. :)
nah ini dia hasilnya

One Step Too Far

2007-08-13T23:15:00.000-07:00

You can sleep forever, but still you will be tired
You can stay as cold as stone, but still you won't find peace
With you I feel I'm the meek leading the blind
With you I feel I'm just spending wasted time

I've been waiting
I'm still waiting
I'm with you
It's always one step too far
One step too far

You can walk too far but still you won't be found
You can look down on the world but still you won't find love
You won't find love

I've been waiting
I'm still waiting

it's addicted

2007-08-12T23:39:00.000-07:00

.. hihihihihi

art by Gatorz
tattoed by Buyung

Kosong

2007-07-30T00:47:00.000-07:00

Pernahkah kau merasa tidak pernah merasa sepi
Pernahkah kau merasa tidak pernah merasa sunyi

Aku tak pernah...
Aku selalu...
Merasakannya...
Kosong....

Pernahkah kau terbangun dan merasa semua semu....
Pernahkah kau inginkan lari dari dirimu kini....

Itulah aku...
Aku selalu...
Merasakannya...

Kosong....

-----------------
Monty Tiwa - Kosong

Hpi bday - Ayah

dari semua

2007-07-28T06:49:00.000-07:00

dari semua lembut bibir yang kukecup
dari semua hangat pelukan yang kudepak
dari semua lembut belai yang kurasa
tak satupun ku temukan apa yang pernah kurasa ..

karena semuanya
hanya ada di dirimu ...
malaikat kecilku

dia bukan dirimu

2007-07-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

di tengah kerlip kerlip lampu
terselimuti asap rokok
masih belum habis tegukan memabukan
ku tenggelam dalam hangatnya dia
lembut bibir yang kurasakan
tak juga masih mampu meredam rasa sepi ini
lembut rabaan birahi nakal
perlahan membawa ku dalam dirinya
peluk diriku ..
tenggelam ku

tapi diriku bukan miliknya
dan dirinya bukan milikku
sepasang jiwa hilang
di tengah pesta
melayang ...
salah kah ku

...
disini aku merindumu
memeluk dirinya
dia bukan dirimu

empat ke tiga dua

Angeline Edelweiss Maharani

2007-07-17T04:16:00.001-07:00

with mom

with dad

Angeline Edelweiss Maharani

...

andai ...

kamu nyata

2007-07-17T03:30:00.000-07:00

Andaikan aku bisa
Berikan kau harapan yang kau mau, Andai ku bisa
Berikan yang sempurna
Apa yang bisa membuat kau bahagia, Andai ku bisa

Kau terlalu berharga di dalam hidupku
Hanya kau yang tersisa di mimpiku

Reff
Kamu nyata di hidupku, Kamu ada di depanku
Tapi tak bisa aku menyentuhmu
Kamu nyata di mataku, Kamu ada di depanku
Tapi tak mungkin, Tak mungkin ku miliki dirimu

Andai bisa kutukar aku dengan dirinya
Aku pun rela asal kau di sampingku
Daripada ku hidup
Hidup terus bermimpi karena mu merindukanmu

--
Rama ..

from yesterday

2007-07-16T03:27:00.000-07:00

He's a stranger to some
And a vision to none
He can never get enough,
Get enough of the world

For a fortune queen
But it's hard to amend
How it ends and
On his face is a map of the world

From yesterday, it's coming!
From yesterday, the fear!
From yesterday, it calls him
Fighting off the world all around he can pay attention

On a mountain, a city, not a gold, nor blood
He can learn, see the life that it turn
From the count to the one
He's decided when he's done with the air

On his face is a map of the world

dia seperti milikku

2007-07-15T23:40:00.000-07:00

Abraham Arya Seta ..

dan aku masih saja terbayang dirimu ..

karena neken jadi ga bisa neken

2007-07-05T06:48:00.001-07:00

duh baru kali ini gue nyobain yg namanya "neken". pecah deh udah .. dengan terpaksa menerima ..

anjret gak enak banged .. saat trance nya .. nendang nendang ke kepala ... gak jelas .. but after that mayan enak ..

but akibatnya a.. gua gak bisa nekennnn :(( dah dua hari menderita gini ..
hiks

kampret

my crib

2007-07-01T22:39:00.001-07:00

just an empty house ...

dalam kesendirian

2007-06-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

masih aku ingat
kedua mata sayu
dan lembut bibirmu
senyum yang selalu menghias
dan peluk manja dirimu ..

dalam bayang bayang
kau hadirkan lagi
imagi dirimu

dan ku akui ..
rindu mu
kembali lagi disini ..

..
bun ...

New Gear

2007-06-25T06:17:00.001-07:00

New gear :

Karrimor Skye 25

Timberland Ruck Sack 35 L

Men's Cadion Mid Dark Grey w/ Gore-Tex XCR® Membrane

GSHOCK Men's Watch G-Shock Mudman G-9000MC-8DR

Dream Theatre 20 Years Legend
Megadeth Tours

once on vacation

2007-06-24T21:40:00.000-07:00

So there he sits and some may wonder
About the sly grin on his face
Yet little do they know
The boundaries of his wisdom
In the solitude of his kingdom

Blank stares at the blank walls
Drill a deep hole in my empty soul

I watch how the moon sits in the sky
On a dark night shining with the light from the sun
The sun doesn't give light to the moon
Assuming the moon's going to owe it one
It makes me think of how you act to me
You do favors and then rapidly
You just turn around and start asking me about
Things you want back from me

June 2007
Singapore

ku mencintaimu

2007-06-18T07:16:00.000-07:00

harus ...
slalu kau tahu
ku mencintaimu
untuk selamanya ...

ramabanu aditya

ours ..

2007-06-11T23:48:00.000-07:00

ours ..

jejak langkah

2007-06-11T23:45:00.000-07:00

jejak langkah
tertera jelas
tak hilang
tak pernah hilang

walaupun hanya satu kali kau langkahkan

dimensi

2007-06-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

kucoba tuk menembus dimensi
menembus ruang dan waktu mencoba meraihmu
melepas jubah yang gerahkanku
sejenak lepaskan gaun itu

Round Here

2007-06-11T00:47:00.000-07:00

Step out the front door like a ghost
into the fog where no one notices
the contrast of white on white.
And in between the moon and you
the angels get a better view
of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.
I walk in the air between the rain,
through myself and back again.
Where?

We all want to be big stars, but we don't know why and we don't know how
But when everybody loves me, I'm going to be just about as happy as can be

I can't remember
the last thing that you said
as you were leavin'
Now the days go by so fast

ada jarak

2007-06-08T01:33:00.001-07:00

hanya ada jarak
begitu jauh
aku pun tak kuasa tuk menjamah mu
sedangkan dirimu
berdiri nyata di hadapanku

..
hanya sesal yang terpendam dalam dada ..

hectic

2007-06-07T07:36:00.000-07:00

capek capek ...
capek jiwa dan hati

pengen belibur

kmana ....

i did not hear u leave

2007-06-04T04:59:00.000-07:00

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory

im a weirdos

2007-06-04T02:07:00.000-07:00

I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?

I give my heart and soul to the one

2007-06-04T01:55:00.000-07:00

the way you're bathed in light
reminds me of that night
god laid me down into your rose garden of trust
and I was swept away
with nothin' left to say
some helpless fool
yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
you're all I need to find
so when the time is right
come to me sweetly,
come to me

...

I'll believe it when I see it for myself
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive, yeah

we made it to the moon
but we can't make it home
waitin' on a rescue that never comes
made it to the moon
but we can't make it home
maybe home is where the heart is given up
to the one

I give my heart and soul to the one

don't try to find the answer
when there ain't no question here
brother let your heart be wounded
and give no mercy to your fear

run to the water and find me there

I ALONE LOVE U

fallen

2007-06-04T01:23:00.000-07:00

another fallen ..
lost words
just emotion
that cannot explain ..

lost ..

if i could fly

2007-05-31T02:44:00.000-07:00

So here I am
In solitude I stand
I've got dreams inside
I need to realize
My faith has grown
No fear of the unknown

Fukai Mori

2007-05-29T05:39:00.000-07:00

As we continue to wander
We keep on living, everywhere we go
Blocking off the road to return
I'll continue walking, eternally

We stand petrified, noiselessly
We continue to live, eternally

DAI - Fukai Mori

Name

2007-05-29T04:01:00.000-07:00

You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name

Tkn Fr :
Goo Goo Dolls - Name

Permataku

2007-05-28T04:55:00.000-07:00

Hatimu terlalu cepat berubah
Sedang diriku terus mengharapkanmu
Mungkinkah terulang masa masa indah
Yang akan membawamu kembali padaku

Oh permataku maafkanlah diriku
Kubuat kau menangis
Lupakan semua yang terjadi
Anggap semua itu hanya mimpi

...

im sorry ...

Tkn fr : Java Jive - Permataku

im gonna be like u dad ..

2007-05-28T03:08:00.000-07:00

My child arrived just the other day
Came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
He was talkin fore I knew it
And as he grew he said,
Im gonna be like you, dad,
You know Im gonna be like you.

taken fr : Cats in the Cradle

miss u tiest ..

what a dream

2007-05-23T02:15:00.000-07:00

Check this out ...
my new toys

:)
Processor : Intel Quad Q6600 2.4 GHz
MainBoard : Gygabite 965pd26
Memory : Extreme 1066 DDR2 RAM 4Gb
Casing + Power Suply : Gygabite Aurora 750 Watt
Hard disk : Seagate 2x 250 Gb SATA
VGA : GeForce 8800 GTX 768 Mb
Pionner DVD-RW
LCD TV Sony Bravia 46' V Series

uhuy

the more u ignore me

2007-05-21T06:43:00.000-07:00

The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time
The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time

What U Done Now

2007-05-15T01:41:00.000-07:00

a decision

2007-05-10T03:51:00.001-07:00

im falling ever more in love with u ..
someone .. over the rainbow
somewhere ...

Fly Away

2007-05-10T03:38:00.000-07:00

When you feelin' down
When you feel
You need to get a way
You can just fly away

When you feelin' low
When you feel
You need to get a way
You can just fly away

I feel the world
Is gonna insane
If you feel the sun
You can just fly away

6 - 0

2007-05-09T04:05:00.000-07:00

what the meaning of that number ?

that the final score of Galatasaray VS PSV Eidhoven .. i win big winning today .. make me so so so so so happy !!!!!

secara gue tim underdog dan posisi juru kunci :D

uhuy !!!

PUAS !!!

Stone of Destiny

2007-05-04T02:20:00.001-07:00

Stone of Destiny
Chivas Regal - Royal Salute 38 Years Old

have u

2007-05-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

have u ever feel like what i feel tonite ?
beeing lonely with no one around

..
have u ..

ntah akan brapa banyak malam lagi yang akan seperti ini