aku disini .. sendiri

+ " akhirnya impian mu kecapai ya tor "
- " impian apa "
+ " inget gak pas malam itu, kita ke bungee bar, awakmu pernah bilang - inilah hidup, work hard party hard. dan mrk semua enjoyed it, apa yang mereka lakukan dan mereka kerjakan seimbang dengan apa yang mereka dapatkan. tapi kalo kita ga bisa spt mereka, mungkin level kita sama tapi apa yg kita dapatkan jauh dari apa yang kita berikan. Dan sekarang kowe wis dapat apa yang seperti kowe omongi pas malam itu "

... aku cuma bisa tersenyum ..
- " pls remember this .. aku harus jalani 8 tahun penuh dengan kesabaran dan ketekunan, untuk menunggu suatu kesempatan untuk melompat ketempat ini. Dan sekarang aku sudah sampai disini. 8 tahun kawan ... "

..
aku sudah disini
dan lagi
aku sendiri

Monday Nite Movie " Da Vinci Code"

Berawal dari buku yang pernah gue baca ( unfinished ) sampai akhirnya buku ini menjadi best seller dibanyak tempat dan akhirnya dijadikan film layar bebas. gue masih gak ngerti juga knapa buku ini menjadi heboh. diawal buku gue cuma baca bahwa ada sesuatu hidden secret dan church conspiracy, hal ini yg sebenernya emang sudah menjadi rahasia umum dan bahkan sudah menjadi mitos. tapi gue sendiri karena bukunya pun cuma baru baca bbrp halaman saja, tetap saja masih gak ngerti, sebenernya apa yg ada didalam buku tersebut.

Last nite, dQ tiba tiba call gue dan bilang dia mo nonton DaVinci Code dan dia udah beliin tiket buat gue n juga krn gua lagi agak bt ya gua ikut aja. we went for the movie at TIM. with bbrp selundupan bir dan chips. :D

The Movie for cukup meng entertain lah .. but jalan ceritanya agak agak shocked me .. secara gue yg scara kecil telah diberikan pelajaran agama yang bagus oleh orang tua gua dan juga gua dulu yg pernah menjadi aktivis di gereja. begitu melihat ini film gue cuma bisa geleng geleng kepala. ada bbrp alur yg memang benar dan ada juga yg akhirnya menghasilkan tanda tanya. secara gua yg suka dengan sejarah begitu melihat itu semua gue cuma berpikir ini film bukanlah sesuatu yg real. it just an entertainment doank. sebuah hiburan ..

but so far gue amaze dgn code code yg ditinggalkan, the track , puzzle dan teknologi yg telah diciptakan jauh sebelum jamannya ..

but mengenai Last Descendant .. the Bloodline .. itu adalah sesuatu yg absurd .. since no one gak ada yg bisa buktikan .. so it just a myth

that's why mengapa Vatikan melarang keras film ini. dan disini di Indonesia ?
well ada bbrp scene yg tidak di terjemahkan :)

so .. kalo yg nonton inggrisnya cetek .. ya tetep aja blur :D

and last words ...

Da Vinci Code .. mean nothing .. that just fiction ..

blank spot

tadi waktu di jalan sih banyak banged yg ada di otak yg mo di tulis
tapi sampe di kantor hilang semua
gak tahu deh mo nulis apa

ada bbrp penggalan yg harusnya aku mo jadiin puisi, tapi akhirnya malah hilang
kayanya gue mesti ngikutin kata katanya si Remon .. buat slalu bawa blocknote
kmana mana

diajakin nomat ini hari
tapi kok males banged ya

enaknya ngapain coba ini hari ..

Mother Earth

She rules until the end of time
She gives and she takes
She rules until the end of time
She goes her own way
A new beginning always starts at the end
Until the end of time
She goes her own way

...
Within Tempation - Mother Earth

wish u were here

masihkah dirimu berpikir
bahwa dirimu akan memerintahkan surga dari neraka ini
biru langit tercipta dari kesedihan
bagaimana mungkin kau bisa ceritakan tentang hijau padang rumput
sedangkan kau sendiri berdiri ditengah besi dingin rel kereta
atau tentang sebuah senyuman dari kegetiran

apa mungkin kau masih bisa katakan padaku
dan apakah kau masih berpikir
bahwa mereka mau menerima mu
sebagai pengganti Kekasihmu yang telah diambil oleh kegelapan
apakah mereka mau menerima panasnya debu untuk sebuah kerindangan
atau hangatnya udara pagi dengan kebekuan malam

dan apakah dirimu pun mau
menukarkan peran kecilmu dalam perang ini untuk
sebuah kepemimpinan dalam satu kurungan

dan bagaimana aku pun berharap
begitu berharap agar dirimu ada disini saat ini

kita hanyalah jiwa jiwa yang tersesat
yang berenang dalam akuarium
selamanya
yang senantiasa berlari melewati padang yang sama
dan apakah yang kita dapatkan di ujung sana
hanya sebuah kecemasan yang tak pernah hilang

dan aku ingin dirimu ada
saat ini .
disini

Libur Panjang

Where to go ?
i got 4 days off . but i still confuse where to go .
and who will be companying me

euhmm

gimme a call if u interested :D

legenda cinta

ah cinta
semua gembira karena cinta
semua membunuh karena cinta
semua mati karena cinta
semua sakit karena cinta
semua bahagia karena cinta
semua hidup karena cinta
semua mati karena cinta

jika semua semudah membuka tutup botol aQua
tak akan ada Legenda cinta

2 jam lagi

aku masih saja terpaku
berdiri disini
berpegang teguh pada tiang didepanku
sedangkan makin lama
guncangan itu makin terasa
aku sudah lelah berdiri
tak kuat lagi ..

aku capek ...
aku mau pulanggg ..
dan sepertinya
dia tak mau berkompromi ...
masih 2 jam lagi ..

..
dalam perjalanan pulang
P20 - Imperium - Ragunan

matahari merah dan awan abu abu

hari ini
tak kutemui dirimu lagi
ataukah
kau sudah muak untuk melihatku
dan memilih untuk bersembunyi
pada gundah awan abu abu

..
matahari merah .. .

a compliment

Justin Gatorz: send u the UAT
Justin Gatorz: pls review it
Peng Kwoon Tan: :)
Peng Kwoon Tan: solid
Peng Kwoon Tan: hehe
Peng Kwoon Tan: u work well under pressure
Justin Gatorz: haha
Peng Kwoon Tan: will pressure u more
Peng Kwoon Tan: :)
Justin Gatorz: hope worth it

...

meaning what ?

for today

The Bottom Line
Things are coming together, and you are ready for a big change in your situation.

In Detail
All the loose ends are falling into place, and that should give you a good feeling today. You are finally on solid ground with a new relationship, so now is the perfect time to stretch out further and move into new territory. They may be waiting for you to make the first move, so don't waste too much time. An exciting change will be coming that could rattle both of you a bit, but if you hang on together and share your feelings, you'll grow to be closer than ever.

A tale that Wasn't Right

In my heart, in my soul
I really hate to pay this toll
Should be strong, young and bold
But the only thing I feel is pain

With my heart, with my soul
Some guys cry you bought and sold
They've been slrong, young and bold
And they say, play this song again

In my heart, in my soul
I really hate to pay this toll
Should be strong, young and bold
But the only thing I feel is pain

..
Helloween - A Tale That Wasn't Right

what's up today ...

wake up late .. i slept at @ 1.45 am , i think, killing time with my new games "Emperor, Rise of the Middle King". so that's why i wake up at 7. whoa .. and get ready at 7.45. damn .. late already .. and it is MONDAY.. i hate Monday .. not because the first day of the every week but because it's traffic .. and the others thing is .. RAINY ...

so today .. i can't see the Red Sun that always show at the east .. he wasn't there.. already gone or maybe Gray Cloud covering him.. it's freeze .. the wind .. and wet .. but the road so fucking traffic .. but i still can feel the cold wind that always hit my face ... and i love that things ..

and the last i make a shortcut .. to the office, i passed the back alley and guess what i see .. is the thing that i don't want to see ...

very bad housing .. and the place is not good for living .. it's so ironic .. behind of the big nice building .. only 10 meters behind all those nice building .. there lay a ... i dunno how to spell it in english ...

and i just can staring at them ... helpless .. can do nothing .. so that the darkside of our lovely Jakarta ...

well back to me again ..

so what's up today ...

i got 6 Box of Sun 490 ready to Install .. - sighs -

..

btw ..
im official widower .. at last ..
one problem solve but i want my tiesto ..

at the weekend

We sail an ocean, a sea of doubt
Skeptics make no sense, can't work things out
I'll choose optimism, scream its name
Look to the future, a burning flame

..
another boredoom at the weekend ..

DAMN BORED !!!!

Which of the Samurai Deeper Kyo Cast Are You?

Lagu di pagi hari

" jangan sakiti ku lagi
mungkin aku bisa pergi
pergi untuk selamanya
dan mungkin ku akan kembali "

.. .

- sighs -

better job, good money .. lifestyle changing ..

it almost a months that i move to this company, so far i still enjoy with this.
the people, and everything. i got bit shocked by the things that come to me .. project and project ... currenly projects dan prospects. shit .. lots of thing that u have to done .. even u realize 24 hours a day is not enough ..
feel so stress, but i love to do it .. cos it's worth to do it ...

just like last nite .. we have to work overnite till 9 pm and the others have to works till next morning .. but .. we have some privillige to do anything and company will cover it for us .. ( whoa btw who gonna pay 500 thousand Bill only for our dinner ) heueueue ..

i change my habbit , sleep early, eat more food .. catch some vitamin . and also i think i need some refreshment .. planning for vacation .. going somewhere ..
hang out with them .. to the club .. or else .. have some movie together .. it fun ..
and that is common things for them ..
but i dunno .. i try to stick like what i use to be .. but i can't resist for all new thing that come .. so i have to try to accept it ..

so ..
welcome to new era ..


in meantime .. same loneliness ...

arghsss ..

need new angel

aku dan dia

me and rico

i miss him also ..

Kamu

Kamu

seperti pelangi pada awan
setelah badai yang menghancurkan
begitu senyummu yang indah
tapi mengandung duka yang dalam

seperti awan pada langit
yang tak pernah hilang
begitu pandang matamu
sarat kan luka yang selalu membayang

..
props o' HR

Anubis

..
Anubis [ 25 Juli - 28 Agustus ]
Anubis, God of Embalming and Guide and Friend of the Dead
Power : Self Confidence, Honour, Responsible, Kind, Charm, Lovely and Hardworker
Weakness : - unknown -
..

Same as others decscription .. all Stars beneath me ..
choosen one

the laugh ...

wish i can see him laugh in the front of me ..

Tiest ndut ..

.. ndut bener ya

uhmmhmsss ..

miss him

if i could fly ..

No fear, no pain
Nobody left to blame
I'll try alone
Make destiny my own
I learn to free my mind
Myself I now must find
Once more

So here I am
In solitude I stand
I've got dreams inside
I need to realize
My faith has grown
No fear of the unknown
No more

If I could fly
Like the king of the sky
Could not tumble nor fall
I would picture it all

If I could fly
See the world through my eyes
Would not stumble nor fail
To the heavens I sail
If I could fly

If I could fly
See the world through my eyes
Would not stumble nor fail
I could ravage my jail
If I could fly

...
if i could ..

Helloween - If i Could FLy

sebuah janji

pada semua jejak kaki
yang tertera di dingin aspal malam
embun pertama malam ini
dingin tersentuh wajah letih manusia malam
coba hangatkan kuku jari
dengan bara rokok yang tinggal setengah mati

dibawah remang lampu jalan yang sedikit lagi memudar
hembuskan asap ..
kepulkan doa ..
bisikan janji ...

kan kuberikan sayap malaikatku
hanya untukmu
....

patah

aku hilang lepas
hanya gelap .. dan dingin
begitu sunyi ..

sedangkan dia yang pernah ada
tak lagi ada disini ..

aku yang dulu
kau berikan aku sepasang sayap indah
agar ku bisa merengkuhmu

kini tlah jatuh ..
patah ..

diantara tumpukan usang

kembali kutemukan
diantara tumpukan usang buku buku yang telah berdebu
tidak tulisanmu
apa yang pernah kau tinggalkan disini
tak pernah hilang
tak berdebu ..

tapi kali ini
dia berdarah ..
merah .. menutupi lapis kaca kristal ..
dingin .. beku tanpa nyawa ..
pucat pasi .. tangis jiwa ...
tertatih berbisik ..

ingin aku menangkap kembali bayang itu
memeluknya ..
memberinya kembali jiwa yang dulu pernah ku berikan
sehingga dunia pun kembali tersenyum melihat cerianya

tapi aku tak pernah tahu
akankah dia mau menerima kembali
jiwa yang dulu pernah kuberikan padanya
aku tak tahu
aku tak berani ...

sedangkan aku disni hanya bisa berharap
dia berpaling kepadaku ..

where is the sun

hanya ada bekas napas
yang masih memburu
mengejar bayangmu

saat hujan ini tiba
terpaku dalam ruang kaca
menanti Matahari tiba ..

awankecil

Jal .. elo di cariin sama "awankecil"
wah, come on man .. that's old story lah .. eniwei she already belong to someone.
No man .. they broke up .. she alone ..
mmm .. since when ?
forgot ... but .. ya she looking for u ..
i dun have any number of her .. .. well ... tell her that im available ..

--..--

that's why ..
knapa akhir akhir ini selalu bayangan dia yg muncul di kepala gue ...
and when i read all ..
she's in pain ..
again ..

life changing

The Bottom Line

Things will feel quite familiar to you today -- you've been down this path before.
In Detail

The road you're traveling is a familiar one today, but don't worry -- you won't be bored. Today life has a nice comfortable feel that you don't get a chance to experience too often. Let your guard down and share more of your personal side with coworkers. You do spend most of your time with them, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to let them get to know you a bit better. After all, life-changing connections can be made through some very surprising routes

it's rain outside

it's rain outside ..
dark cloud
wind hard ..
can't see a thing

leaf falling ..
the drops ..
sound of thunder ..
blurry window

and i starting to freeze
mark on the stained glass

and a wish
when my Sun will arise

..
missed.
tiesto ..

Lesson From Africa

I just returned from a 7 day trip to South Africa and Zambia. What I saw changed my life. I want to tell you about my trip and let you know about billions of dollars in development assistance that is at risk this week.

Each day, I saw the devastating impact of AIDS and extreme poverty, but I also saw the incredible work being done to save lives and give people the tools to provide for themselves. I visited a facility that reduced, by half, the chances of a mother transmitting HIV to their child. I met a 24 year old woman who told me that there was a good chance the anti-retrovirals she was taking would save the her baby's life. The next day, I met a widow who had become self-sufficient thanks to a micro-finance loan. With her new financial freedom, she was not only able to take care of her children, but also began caring for local orphans.

The biggest lesson I took home from the trip was that folks in these countries can turn things around if given the basic resources that we take for granted here every day. That's why I was shocked to learn from the ONE campaign that within the next 2 weeks the U.S. Senate is poised to slash billions of dollars from President Bush's plan to fight AIDS and poverty.

This is an outrage - and it can be stopped. Please join me in speaking out right now!

The second day of the trip, I met children at an orphan care center in Zambia who had HIV\AIDS. Most of them couldn't remember their parents because they died of AIDS when they were only babies. Frederick, an HIV positive father showed me something called a "Memory Book." A scrapbook with pictures and stories about him he was putting together for his son so he would have something to remember him with after they he was gone. About 650,000 children in Zambia are AIDS orphans. They play "Duck, Duck, Goose" and "London Bridge" just like kids around the world, but without help; the problems they face are only going to get much worse. We can't let Congress cut funding that provides critical assistance to kids like these all across Africa.

Senators Mike DeWine (R) and Dianne Feinstein (D) have written a letter to their colleagues in the Senate asking them to stop these devastating cuts in funding for the fight against AIDS and extreme poverty. With just 30 seconds of your time, you can send a quick note to your Senators asking them to support this funding and add their signature to this important letter.

The work we are doing on the ONE Campaign will change the world. It already has. Let's keep up the pressure and make sure they know we won't let billions of dollars in cuts to the President's request for the world's poor go unnoticed.

Ask your Senator to support critical development assistance


Matt Damon

P.S. Click here to join communities around the world for the AIDS Candlelight Memorial on May 21

Gtrz ..
Proud to be Member of ONE.org

something at nite

i dunno
suddenly i remember at the nite .. when i play a song call " dari hati " and i translated that song for Her .. and read it for her ..
that nite .. why everything seems run so fast ...
and now all that happening recorded in my deepest memory .. the moment, the time , place .. everything i still can see it, can feel it .

the eyes .. the touch .. the smell ..
still in the air ..

in the front of my eyes .. now ..
at this moment ..
i still can see her ...

..

..

dance with me
along the stars
take me and let me
to hugs u ...

.pom kid-terng Muay koang pom.

for all reason ... have we ever ..

for all love that we have
have we ever understand each others
for all hate was arose
have we ever hold each others
for all misses we got
have we ever have enough patiences ...

for all reason ..
have we ever ..

and if

..
and if
deep in our heart
it might be explain will tell everything
all feeling that remains

and if
hurt in our heart
will u still smile
even it pain u more ...

and if
deep in our heart
all the longing
will be heard

and if ..
deep in our heart asking
can they listening to us ..
" do u still hear us ... "

...
something still left in deep of our heart ...
for my beloved wife

Save Me

i hate this nite
i hate this room
and this lonelyness
bothering me

inside this botle
inside this smoke
your shadow
haunted

should be
what was here
gone dissapear
and one question
where are u now

Might Be
in the last
u'll come
hugs me
before it's too late
save me ..

...
translated from ..
Selamatkan Aku by Endank S

tertawa di kala senja

aku mau kau ingat tentang suatu hal ini
walaupun aku tahu kamu belum mengerti tentang dunia
disetiap saat saat aku menghela nafas
agar bisa bertahan satu detik lagi
ku bisikan semua pintaku
bahwa aku mencintaimu ...

...

for my dearest son
Ramabanu Tiesto Aditya

begitu berat utk tertawa sendiri di kala senja .

Something that make me happy ...

:-) hae hae! Just say hi and remind u to miss me too yah .
have nice day kha ..

...............

miss u to krub ...

a very simple message but make me very very happy

Hi I'am Trap ..

it was in the middle of the discussion beetwen me and Dereck. Dereck is an Engineer for Our DC-Asia HQ, He explain me about current situation in for my new assignment. and suddenly someone knocking at our door, interupt our discussion.

He just look somebody people. not too high same as me i mine. and his appearance like ordinary people. He just tell something about the paper to Dereck and after that he ask to Dereck who am i ?. Dereck just said it's jalu, so i introduce to myself to him. and shake his hand. and he just said " hi nice to meet u, I'am Trap " whoa ... suddenly i realize who he is ... He is My Big BoSS. huhuhu .. i just can't say any words .. i dunno i just still shake his hand without saying any words.

he just say " welcome , have u receive your new Laptop, i supposed to be today, i dunno new or not but it have to be this day, ok .. let someone take care of u, and good day "

he leaving .. and i still don't realize that was my big boss ..

huehuehe .
even when DC-TH bigboss come after me i dun realize about that .. :)

at the end
4 new assignment .. fhew ..

1St Day

i think i wake up too early this morning. it 5.45 am, still dark and cold. but i know this day gonna my first day to sit in my new chair and my new desk. but i am still sleepy, last nite we do welcome home party .. all my close friends gather at my home.
chit and chat and of course .. ALCOHOL. but b'cos im takin medicine for my cough that i got when im at Bangkok. so i just take a very little shoot, for respect them. and i went to sleep at 1 am.

so in this first day, i suppose to come early at the office. the one that i dun like at this office is only it's JAM. man ... 30 minutes caught in traffic even it's still 7 am. can u imagine that ??

so i arrived at 7.45 am and go to 19th . when i opened whoa .. i meet my old partner .. i was worked with him at 97. damn .. another 9 years meet him again and in the same team. and yeah .. usually i have to introduce my self to the others but start from the begining .. i see all people in here expecting to see me. .. whoaa .. and guess what ?
i got another new assignment .. wtf .. this time i will work for biggest Telecomunication in Indonesia .. whoa ..

since 2005 .. i never had a rest .. im burnout ..

meanwhile ..

in the state of a feeling i misses my son and u ...

..

bgsound: Dreamrain.C:/budokan - Do Want You To Be Disstress .
do loop .
.pom kid-terng Muay koang pom.

a moment

At the Queen Sirikit Hall and the Stock Exchange of Thailand as the Background



- Tuk Tuk -


- Tuk Tuk -



- Tuk Tuk -



Road to Queen Sirikit Palace


Hei ... Im On The Phone


At the Stock Exchange Thailand Crisis Room


At the Stock Exchange Thailand Crisis Room



Can I Delete this ?



At the Somerset


I'm Tired ... - sighs -


The Kitchent



a new set for Tiesto :)

3.53 am

it's 3.53 am
drowning
..

thinkin' of u
my baby ..

...
while u sleep ..
have u ever dream about me ?

..

why u are so nice ....

- " why u are so kind to me .. why u so nice .. u treat me like i'm special. "
+ " i dunno ... it coz u so kind, i have made u to stay here. to extent and stay here. and i have made u so bored "
- " no im not . i just doin my job, im here cos i have to help u "
+ " are u not like that i treat u too nice ? "
- " i dunno, i just want to hear your reason "

.... ....

then she left ...
and the question still stuck on my head ...

- sighs -

a picture can tell about the world

Can U See Me ?



this is what i done for



Under Flags



do u understand what i feel ?



Gate of Queen Sirikit Palace



save them ...



a Motion Trail



Way Back Home



Do u Want this ?



perhaps .. this ?



in Beetween ..