I would say I'm sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I've said too much
Been too unkind

I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and
Laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry

I would break down at your feet
And beg forgiveness
Plead with you
But I know that
It's too late
And now there's nothing I can do

So I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try to
Laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'cause boys don't cry

I would tell you
That I loved you
If I thought that you would stay
But I know that it's no use
That you've already
Gone away

Misjudged your limits
Pushed you too far
Took you for granted
I thought that you needed me more

Now I would do most anything
To get you back by my side
But I just
Keep on laughing
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry

--------------
i promise u to not to cry
but i can't
and still cry till this mornin
still thinkin bout this life it's never been a fair
why .... the question never ended ...

"Jalu .. maukah kamu menyanyikan satu lagu untuk aku .. sebelum aku pergi tidur .... Satu lagu saja untukku ...
dan itu sudah cukup ... karena dengan itu aku akan merasakan kamu ada disisiku sekarang .. satu saja dan sudah cukup ... dan jangan kamu menangis lagi ... aku tidak mau kamu menangis malam ini .."

.dalam suatu percakapan melalui telpon 01.01.04 00.50 waktu jakarta .


- Deng Cia Ji . Penang Adventist Hospital . HBV patient -

New Year,
new day a risen on the horizon for ever more,
more thoughts to remember,
do it simple,
do it sweet,
many a year and day can be lost when you frown a lot.

-met tahun baru JaLu -

You laugh,
you cry,
no one knows why,
But oh,
the thrill of it all.
You're on the ride,
You might as well,
open your eyes.

You will fly and you will crawl.
No such thing as you've lost it all.
God knows even angels fall.

akhirnya
dapet server baru .. si pingkih ternyata yg punya ma si david
trus di tunjukin poto anak mrk bedua
hehe lucu
jadi kebayang kalo satu waktu nanti aku punya anak yg lucu spt mrk
ntah kapan

well
pointnya new version of gatorz.org n dreamrain akan muncul
mudah mudahan bisa di selesain in time
bela belain deh ini bgadang buat ngerjain itu

..
tapi aku rindu kamu malam ini ...

hari ini
masih saja hujan seperti kemarin
seakan tak pernah berhenti

hari ini
masih saja rindu seperti kemarin
seakan tak pernah berhenti

aku merindui mu di tengah hujan dimalam ini
dan masih

...
i miss u

Kupernah mencintaimu
cintaku mungkin
Belum terbiar dalam jiwaku
Tapi hendaknya dia tidak merisaukan kau lagi
Tak akan aku sakiti kau lagi
Aku pernah mencintaimu tanpa kata,
tanpa harapan,

Dengan rasa malu kini ,
dengan rasa cemburu yang lebur
Aku mencintaimu dengan jujur,
dengan halus mesra

ps.
untuk Tuhanku, Mama n Papa, my Brother Rico n juga kamu

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!

...
selamat natal JaLu

ps.
harusnya kamu ada disini malam ini

why do birds suddenly appear,
everytime you are near?
just like me, they long to be,
close to you......

why do stars fall down from the sky,
everytime you walk by?
just like me, they long to be,
close to you.........

on the day that you were born the angels got together,
and decided to create a dream come true,
so they sprinkled moondust in your hair
and golden starlight in your eyes of blue...

that is why, all the boys [or: girls] in town,
follow you, all around,
just like me, they long to be,
close to you.......

on the day that you were born the angels got together,
and decided to create a dream come true,
so they sprinkled moondust in your hair
and golden starlight in your eyes of blue...

that is why, all the boys or girls in town,
follow you, all around,

just like me, they long to be,
close to you.........

..
miss u

hai

i miss u

in heaven and earth

honest

i miss u

Bete
dah capek capek ngebut buat
malah ga bisa di upload

gelap

btw

i miss u tonight

Saat ku terbayang Wajah anggun angkuhmu
Kucoba 'tuk menjauh Saat - saat dekat denganmu
Melupakan dirimu.....


Bayang - bayangmu kasih
Slalu hadir dalam gelisahku
Nada - nada asmara
Kan terhilang sekilas kau ada
Bayang - bayangmu kasih
Mewarnai asa dalam duka
Nada - nada asmara
Kan terhilang sekejap kau lepas


Bayang-bayang slalu ada
Ketika kupejamkan mataku

ps.
i miss u
i wish u can be here for christmass

I, look at the moon I see my crime,
Thinking of you I lose my mind.
It's something that I'm quite sure it's fine,
Read my mind

Time, I thought only time can kill the pain,
Wash away all my sin remained,
God knows how hard I've tried in vain Let it rain

If only someone can find that paradise,
Where you and I can live and never die,
If only love can find a place in our mind,
Then you and I will never part,

I only know that someday you'll read my mind,
Then you'll know that I love you
The dawn is breaking and I can't see the light
But I will not be frightened.

I'll fight till the end Becaused of you...
You've got to believe me, that it's thue,
Then you'll know that I love you

..
Leslie Cheung - ost MoonLight Express

I still hear your voice, Softly calling my name,
But I know my answer's in vain,
Cause I couldn't be with you,
When you needed help and rescue,

From the darkness that took you away,
Will there be absolution,
At the story's conclusion
Or will there be just endless pain

I still hear your voices, Softly calling my name,
Though destiny torn us apart
You still burn light a flame in my heart

..
ps i love u ..

And I
Just wish that
I didn't feel
Like there was
Something I missed

And I
Take back all
The things I said
To make you
Feel like that


And I
give it all away
Just to have somewhere
To go to

Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to

..
december is near ..
feel alone again
u supposed to be here
with me ..
.sighs.

Aku gak mau menjadi setan yang menakutimu
Aku gak mau menjadi iblis yang menyesatkanmu


Yang aku mau kau mencoba .. tuk mengenal aku
Yang aku mau kau belajar .. tuk mencintai aku
Tulus .. dan apa adanya ..

Aku gak mau seperti api .. membakar hatimu
Aku gak mau seperti duri .. yang melukaimu


Yang aku tahu ku mencoba .. terbuka
Yang aku tau ku sengaja .. tuk slalu bicara
Jujur .. dan apa adanya ..


..
yang aku mau ..

Bintang...
Malam Ini Kulihat Dia Tertawa...
Bintang...
Kuingin Dia Berbagi Cerita...
Segala Sepi Yang Terasa Kucari Telah Tiada...

Bintang...
Dulu Semua Hanya Mimpi...
Bintang...
Kutak Lagi Sendiri...
Jangan Biarkan Indah Ini Bersedih...

Tuk Yang Terakhir Kali...

Bintang...
Dulu Semua Hanya Mimpi
Bintang...
Kuingin Ia Berbagi Cerita...
Jangan Biarkan Indah Ini Bersedih...

Tuk Yang Terakhir Kali.

Suatu Hari Nanti Kuyakin Sepi Kan Kembali...
Kembali Menyapaku Di Sini

Kutahu Tak Ada Yang Abadi...
Mungkin Semua Kan Datang Dan Pergi...
Namun Tetap Kuharap Ada Satu
Kutahu Tak Ada Yang Abadi...
Mungkin Semua Kan Datang Dan Pergi...
Namun Tetap Kuharap Ada Satu


..
Bahagiaku

sungguh aku ingin ia ada
dalam embun saat pagi
di dalam sana,
di tempat yang masih belum aku percaya
aku percaya ia ada
dan sedang berjalan kesana
pagi begitu jauh

sungguh aku ingin ia ada suatu ketika
tidak hanya di dalam sana
tapi dimana mana

...
Death is not the end
Death is Begining of the new life
...

In your eyes so much is located,
which says to me, you feel exactly the same as I.
You are the girl, who belongs to me,
I live only for you.

Since we know each other, my life is all around beautiful,
and it is beautifully only by you.
Which likes also gescheh'n, I remain with you,
I never leave you in the pass.

You are everything that I have in the world,
You are everything that I am.
You, you alone can do me verstehn,
You, you may do never more of me gehn.


.Original translated from Peter Maffay - Du bist alles .

Satu yang pasti,
aku belum kehabisan energi untuk merinduimu
dan aku belum bisa melupakanmu
bayangmu tetap lembut hadir di hatiku
sorot mata kanakmu
bibirmu yang menyimpul senyum
tawa manjamu ...

.ps
thx for nite call

maybe this is it
the time

i have to say goodbye to all of u

just wish me to can comeback again ...

Why can't we not be sober?
Just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever?
I just want to start things over.


..
man have limit
..

You don't need no friends
get back your faith again
you have the power to believe
another dissident
take back your evidence
it has no power to deceive

I'll believe it when I see it, for myself

..
I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset
..

Relation between woman and man

Woman and man, they have equal right, because both of them are from the same source, Gusti. In the Dentawiyanjana twenty letters, you can read da, ta, sa, wa, la that's mean both parties (the woman and the man) have agreed to build a relation, the love is the wish of both parties. It is impossible merely from one party. It is clear that love relation is decided by a man and a woman not by their parents!


..
i took this quote from my ancestor ..

seeking for my second birth

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.

...
Mother Mary wont u Whisper
something but what's past n done ..

-deleted-

being a leader is not about ability
but most of all
is about responsibility

..
i dun wan to be a leader anymore .

karena cinta tak datang biasa. dan degup yang serta,
membawanya melata. menembusi selaput rindu raga.
semesta, semburat senja, dan gelombang yang memecah
karangnya adalah semerta rasa meraja.

karena cinta tak pernah binasa. naung rindangnya
adalah seribu matahari di atas damai jiwa. walau
percik-percik api, titik-titik membakar serpih akal
jiwa. lara. seluruh duga di dada. cemburu maya.
malam-malam tangis liar kepedihan jarak dan kata.

karenanya, cintamu tak biasa. dawai yang tak mati.
walau sejuta lagu kunyanyi.


.
i luv u .

rindu yang mencair
menggenang di hati kering
beriak diatasnya
kilau cahaya
putih perawan
semerbak janji mewangi
malam seribu bulan
akankah terlewat ?
seperti biasanya...

sementara,
esok tak tahu
matahari akan menyapa lagi

...
Is there tomorrow still exist ?

saat kita harus menerima cinta dari orang yg sama sekali bukan dalam impian kita
apakah itu salah satu bentuk pelarian
ketika hanya mencoba untuk mendapatkan sesuatu yg tidak pernah di dapatkan dari dia sebelumnya
dan pada saat kita pergi jauh dari semua itu, haruskah kita menerima cinta dalam bentuk paksaan dari orang yg baru kita kenal hanya untuk mengisi waktu yang ada ..
apakah itu satu bentuk pemuasan diri
Saat kita harus menerima cinta dari orang yang diwajibkan untuk kita cintai .. walaupun kita tidak mencintai nya
apakah itu satu bentuk Kesetiaan atau paksaan ...

Keterbukaan .. Kejujuran .. Pengakuan diri ..
adalah suatu hal yg besar selain cinta itu sendiri ...

.inspired from Mahadewa Mahadewi.

Bantulah aku, Tuhanku
meniti jalan ini
Jalanku pada jalan-Mu

Atau

Bunuhlah aku
selagi masih ku sebut nama-Mu


...
Father to in to your hand i command my spirit ..

Air mata yang telah jatuh
Membasahi bumi
Takkan sanggup menghapus penyesalan
Penyesalan yang kini ada
Jadi tak berarti
Kar'na waktu yang bengis terus pergi

Menangislah bila harus menangis
Karena kita semua manusia
Manusia bisa terluka
Manusia pasti menangis

..
i got no tears for u ..
i do love u forever ..

i give my heart and soul to the one
.Cia Deng Ji.

hanya rindu, mengaum memenuhi angkasa
gemanya memantul mantul di antara menara dan atapatap gedung
lalu senyap ditelan debu, asap dan udara

di senja yang tak pernah sama
kucari sebait puisi yang pernah kutulis disana
tak ada

..
aku rindu kamu ..
ntah siapa kah dirimu ..

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer where i Started
Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all i've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

perempuan yang dibalut kaos putih, blue-jeans belel,
dan sneaker coklat itu menatap arus deras di aspal
depan matanya. terpaku. termangu. teriris rajam angin
pada dada. pada sukma. pada rindu yang kerap kalap
merayap. menduduki monarki diri, mencabik-cabik dendam
yang tak redam, meninggalkan kelu lidah saat kata-kata
menetes sebagai liur dari kerongkongannya yang
kehausan.

perempuan yang dibalut kaos putih, blue-jeans belel,
dan sneaker coklat itu melambaikan tangannya pada tiap
lintas kendara, pada tiap rusuk, pada tiap igau yang
lara. degup-degup dada memacunya, memecutnya
sebagaimana waktu. sebagaimana detik demi detik
memperbudak kesempatan demi kesempatan. sebagaimana
belas tak berkasih mengusap-usap ubun-ubunnya,
meninabobokannya ke dalam buai api-api kota.

pernah ada banyak tanya di kepala. pernah ada banyak
rumus-rumus, teori-teori, hukum-hukum, dan fatwa-fatwa
yang dibawa dalam jinjingannya yang berat dan terus
disandangnya lalu ditinggalkannya entah di mana.
perempuan itu, akhirnya hanya membawa air mata.
membawa tiap ringkih tulangnya. sampai akhirnya ia
hanya berdiri di sana, di pinggiran sebuah kota,
melambai-lambai pada roda-roda. pada asap asa.

...
satu malam di sudut mahakam
sambil mengenang dirimu ..

Cinta bukan falsafah
atau cinta tidak pernah nyata
atau tidak pernah ada ..

..
Comfort is just an illusion but pain is real

Forever may not be long enough for my love
i have a will But i'm lost inside your time
if you could,Would you come with me to the other side?

Forever may not be long enough for you to know
just how far i'd travel, Just how far i would go
open your heart and everything will be alright
Open your heart, baby leave with me,
don't be afraid forever!

This world is never enough, and I'm not givin up my faith in love is like blood,
I'd spill it freely for some my faith in love is like blood,
It flows in everyone don't stop to look at the clock,
Forever won't be long enough

Forever may not be long enough

FOREVER !!!!!!!!!!!

I want to control myself
I won't let anyone see me cry
Pretend that I don't care about you; I don't want to think of you
I blame myself for not having courage

My heart hurts until I can't breathe
I can't find the traces you've left behind
(I can't find the traces left behind yesterday)*
Eyes wide open, watching you, though I've no strength
As you disappear at the end of the world

I can't find a resolute reasoning
I will never feel your gentleness again
Tell me, where is space?
There, does it have a limit or not?

So towards the meteors, I'll make a wish
To let you know I love you

..
Heavenly Wish ..

Translated from
Xing Yu Xin Yuan - Cecilia Cheung
OSt. Fly Me To Polaris

Our Favourite Movie

Our last kiss was tobacco flavoured,
A bitter and painful aroma
This time tomorrow, I guess you'll be somewhere else
I guess you'll be loving someone else

You are always gonna be my love
Whenever, wherever I fall in love again
I'll remember to love, you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
For now, a sad love song
Until I sing a new song

The frozen time now starts to move
And I haven't forgotten a thing
This time tomorrow, I know I'll still secretly
Be loving you

You will always be inside my heart
Always, a place for only you and so
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
For now, a sad love song
Until I sing a new song

You are always gonna be my love
Whenever, wherever I fall in love again
I'll remember to love, you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
For now, a sad love song
Until I sing a new song

Original Translated from Utada Hikaru Version

this is our song ..
u use to be sing this song before we fall asleep
your voices
your emotions
every nite
and i am very happy to be the last thing u remember
before u go sleep..

Afterwards,
I understand completely how love goes, it's a shame you
disappeared into the sea of faces.
Afterwards, though all the tears, I understand
that you can only wrong somebody once.

Orange flowers, 100 petals fall on my blue pleated skirt
"I love you," you softly say, beneath my face there is a burst of fragrance
That eternal night; 17 years old, midsummer, that night we kissed
Let all my days have the feeling of that day's starlight
That love then, why can it appear so simple
yet we let those who we love be hurt?
On this similar deep of night, do you feel the same quiet hurt of regret?
If at the time we could have been less stubborn,
we would not feel regret now

You always understood me, my laughter and silence
These coming years, can we not be alone?

Afterwards, I understand completely how love goes, it's a shame you
disappeared into the sea of faces.
Afterwards, though all the tears, I understand
that you can only wrong somebody once.

Forever cannot happen again. There is a boy in love with a girl.

Translated from Hou Lai - Rene Liu

and i never forget when we are sing this song together ...
i wish we can make it once ..

Aku hanya angin, lantas
Berhembus semau kuingin bebas
Entah dari kutubkah
Atau dari negeri antah berantah
Lalu aku ingin menyapa semua yang ada
Menyapa awan yang berarak
Menyeruakkan kata cinta diantaranya
Kemudian turun kebumi menyapa
Dinding-dinding keangkuhan para raja.



Aku hanya angin, dan
Aku hanya mampu berhembus dengan tulus
Tanpa pernah berharap akan menemui
Cinta atau sebangsa kasih yang terimpi
Lalu aku akan mencoba bertanya
Kepada laut yang sering kusinggahi
Bertengger pada keroposnya karang hati
Tentang liku kehidupan dan liku hati



Aku hanya angin yang menepi
Mencari tiang pegangan hati
Namun aku tak pernah yakin
Bahwa aku bakal dirindukan
Atau memang aku tak pernah punya
Rasa rindu juga cinta

..
im just the wind

Dan...
Pabila esok, datang kembali
Seperti sediakala
Dimana kau bisa bercanda

Dan...
Perlahan kaupun, lupakan aku, mimpi burukmu
Dimana t'lah kutancapkan duri tajam
Kaupun menangis, menangis sedih
Maafkan aku...

Dan...
Bukan maksudku, bukan inginku melukaimu
Sadarkah kau di sini ku pun terluka
Melupakanmu, menepikanmu
Maafkan aku...

Lupakanlah saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar dan berpijar seperti dulu kala
Caci maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar dan perpijar seperti dulu kala


ps.
maaf jika mimpi buruk itu terulang kembali ..

"selamat tinggal ... selamat tinggal",
kudengar sayup-sayup pepohonan itu berkata,
merelakan kepergian angin
yang telah menebarkan pesonanya pada mereka...

jauh lebih rela dari aku
yang hanya terpaku
kala kau mencoba mengajakku bicara
sesaat sebelum kau tinggalkan diriku...

...
untuk mereka yg pernah singgah disini ...

ah
kenapa juga aku harus selalu memikirkan kamu
kamu bukan pacarku
kamu hanya teman biasa

kenapa juga aku harus pusing memikirkan kamu
sedangkan kamu pun tak pusing memikirkan aku

kenapa juga harus ...

kamu hanya pengisi satu masa ..

teringat satu masa lalu ..
pada saat temanku berkata ..

"Love is a game that we play in the net"

ups..
hampir saja.. terulang kembali ..

apa susahnya sih untuk mengetik sebaris kata
"Hai apa kabar "

hanya tiga kata itu saja .. cukup sudah ...

..
Friend ?
just a simple word ..
only
when u in need ..
..

aku
bukanlah penyair

aku
hanyalah malam yang menyelimuti sepi

aku
hanyalah buih ombak bertabir mimpi

aku
hanyalah awan berarak yang tiada berhenti

aku
hanyalah luapan kebahagiaan, ketika cinta menikamku kembali...

..
aku
hanyalah yang tertinggal ..

serimbun rindu kuungkap padamu

mengingat tiap tetes airmata kita yang jatuh di hamparan pasir putih trawangan
mengingat tiap geliat kegelisahan panjang yang kita lewati tanpa ada pengharapan

serimbun rindu kuungkap padamu
walau kau bukan milikku...

.
buat dikna
masna baik baik aja disini

dan kau menatap langit, masih..

maka bila nanti aku pamit
terakhir kali barangkali
masih menyimpan rindu
selamanya merindu
selamanya tersesat dalam perihal cintamu

duhai,
perempuan yang setia menerawangi langit,
ceritakan padaku bagaimana bisa airmata lindap di arca
serupa matamu..

.ps
Jakarta Mendung ..
dan apakah kau masih tetap menatap langit itu

kamu hanyalah bayangan ..

Jalu ..
kamu Berubah .. kamu sudah bukan seperti yang dulu .. seperti Jalu yang pernah aku kenal ..
yang selalu bisa mendapatkan apa yang kamu mau ..
sama seperti pada saat kamu bisa mendapatkan aku ..
kamu menjadi lemah ... yang selalu menyalahkan dirimu ..
keadaaan mu .. yang selalu terus mengeluh ..
menjadi rapuh ...
Kenapa Jalu ? ..
apa yang terjadi selama ini ...

"Maafkaan Aku Nath "

dan kucium bibirmu, di langit-langit kamar yang kian pekat
mencumbumu dalam lautan sepi
antara keheningan dan gelisahnya malam
kupacu gairah untuk memahat bayanganmu

..
aku kangen kamu ..

Pasti tidak akan kita temui

hakiki membisik selamanya perjalanan bersendiri

yang hadir dan pergi hanya debu menghinggapi kekosongan

cinta terisi di hujung kembara

bila akhirnya menemui Dia.

ps.
teruntuk yg tercinta

inilah saat bangun dari tidur panjang yang mencekam
indah memang waktu lalu
tapi tak dapat kukekang egoku tuk gapai sluruh hhidup mu
kini kusadari
lambat seiring waktu
dirimu menjauh

kini ...
tak setiap detik aroma tubuhmu hadir
ketika ku buka mata saat lewat senja
tak dapat lagi kulihat jelmamu disisi
sulit bagiku hadir diruang ini, sendiri...
harus kucoba berdiri tanpa kau atau siapapun

ps.
pls remember me this way
.

looked in the mirror,
I don't know who I am anymore
the face is familiar but the eyes,
the eyes give it all away.

Kaukah itu yang menghembuskan angin di kutup sepi,
menyapa rindu sang salik

..
hanya bayangan ..

Here I sit and watch my world come crumbling down
I cry for help but no one's around
Silently screaming I bang my head against the wall
It seems like no one cares at all
Always an emotion, but how can I explain
How can I explain
Kind of like the scent of a rose
With words I can't explain
The same with my pain
Caught up in emotion-Goes over my head
Goes over my head
Sometimes I got to think to myself is this life or death
Am I living or am I dead
The clock keeps ticking but nothing else seems to change
Problems never solved, just rearranged
And when I think about all the times that I've had
So few good-So many bad
I search for personality and I look for things I can not see

Love and peace flash through my mind
Pain and hate are all I find
Find no hope in nothing new
Never had a dream come true
Lies and hate and agony
Thru my eyes that's all I see
If I'm gonna cry
Will you wipe away my tears?
If I'm gonna die
Lord please take away my fear
Before I drown in sorrow
Last thing that I'll say

How will I laugh tommorow
If I can't even smile today

...
Suicide is an Alternative
..

Take away my pain
Leave the cold outside
Please don't let it rain
Don't stumble on my pride

Take away my pain
I'm not frightened anymore
Just stay with me tonight
I'm tired of this fight
Soon I'll be knocking at your door


Take away my pain
Let the cold inside
It's time to let it rain
There's nothing left to hide

Take away my pain
I'm not frightened anymore
I'm learning to survive
Without you in my life
Til you come knocking at my door...



.. Would u ...

He’s just the kind of man
You hear about
Who leaves his family for
An easy out
They never saw the signs
He never said a word
He couldn’t take another day

She’s not the kind of girl you hear about
She’ll never want another
She’ll never be without
She’ll give you all the signs
She’ll tell you everything
Then turn around and walk away

Once the stone
You're crawling under
Once the stone
Is lifted off your shoulders
Once the cloud that’s raining
Over your head disappears
The noise that you’ll hear
Is the crashing down of hollow years

Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
into the waves
walk me across the water
And maybe you’ll understand.

.
i wish u understand bout me .

bulan pucat bulat
setia temani gelombang
di tengah malam
senyap
mereka bercinta
lepaskan dendam
rindu seharian

. dan aku pun rindu kamu.

Ku sakit entah di mana
Luka ku menganga
Tanpa mampu ku balut
Ku cari asal sakitku ini
Hanya hampa yang ada

Ingin ku terbang menggapai
langit surgawi
Dan kubentangkan sayap putihku
Yang bersimbahkan darah

Hingga ku tersungkur
Tanpa mampu menggapainya
Sayap putihku patah, lebur
Bulu-bulu ku raib
Hanya aku yang tersisa
dalam gelap..


. this wound could not be healed.

cinta hanyalah dua jiwa
yang tercipta dalam dua ungkapan
sedih dan bahagia...

..
....
.....

Dalam kesendirian, aku diam
Dalam kebersamaan, aku diam
Dalam duka, aku diam
Dalam suka, aku diam
Dalam kacau, aku diam
Dalam damai, aku diam
Orang bertanya, siapakah aku?

Aku hanyalah seorang pendiam yang ingin ketenangan...
Aku hanyalah seorang pendiam yang mencari jati diri...
Aku hanya seorang pendiam yang merenungi hidupku...

.
aku hanya aku .

aku diantara pembunuh
pembunuh-pembunuh berdarah dingin
mereka membunuh tanpa perasaan
mereka benamkan pisau kenyataan
pelan tapi menyakitkan
impianku ditusuk beramai
rintihanku mereka tak peduli
sungguh pembunuh berdarah dingin
membunuh tanpa perasaan
dan kulihat temanku diantara mereka

.
and u do the most pain
my friend .

Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filing me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it to late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good - bye

note.
much ppl suicide inspired by this song .
the lost and desperate
had nowhere to go
got no hope, lonelyness and forgotten.

what do you think ?
do u think like what i am thinking now ?

She never really had a chance
On that fateful moonlit night
Sacrificed without a fight
A victim of her circumstance

Now that I've become aware
And I've exposed this tragedy
A sadness grows inside of me
It all seems so unfair

Just beyond the churchyard gates
Where the grass is overgrown
I saw the writing on her stone
I felt like I would suffocate

In loving memory of our child
So innocent, eyes open wide
I felt so empty as I cried
Like part of me had died

And as her image
Wandered through my head
I wept just like a baby
As I lay awake in bed

And I know what it's like
To lose someone you love
And this felt just the same

She wasn't given any choice
Desperation stole her voice
I've been given so much more in life
I've got a son, I've got a wife

I had to suffer one last time
To grieve for her and say goodbye
Relive the anguish of my past
To find out who I was at last

The door has opened wide
I'm turning with the tide
Looking through her eyes

I'm learning all about my life
By looking through her eyes

ps.
for my mom
i love u mom

Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond
And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?

They say, "Life is too short,"
"The here and the now"
And "You're only given one shot"
But could there be more,
Have I lived before,
Or could this be all that we've got?

I used to be frightened of dying
I used to think death was the end
But that was before
I'm not scared anymore
I know that my soul will transcend

I may never find all the answers
I may never understand why
I may never prove
What I know to be true
But I know that I still have to try

"Move on, be brave
Don't weep at my grave
Because I am no longer her
e But please never let
Your memory of me disappear"

Safe in the light that surrounds me
Free of the fear and the pain
My questioning mind
Has helped me to find
The meaning in my life again

Victoria's real
I finally feel
At peace with the girl in my dreams
And now that I'm here
It's perfectly clear
I found out what all of this means

If I die tomorrow
I'd be allright
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on

..
i miss u
on earth and heaven ..

sms itu hanya singkat, tapi membuat ku berpikir 1000 x kali
dah berhari hari sudah aku masih memikirkan ttg sms mu itu
dan kembali ku melihat kepada diriku
dan kembali ku melihat masa laluku

dirimu pernah ada disisi ku
temani
memberikan cinta
walaupun sesaat

sungguhpun saat itu
ntah cinta apa yang ada di dalam diri kita
tetapi
itu semua nya indah
walaupun akhirnya harus ku lukai janji kita
yang akhirnya membuat kita terluka

tapi satu yang tidak akan pernah kulupakan
tentang cinta yang pernah kita buat ..

..
dikna once u have gave your love for me and it's still remaind in here

"maybe someday we will meet again and we will have much more than we have was .. last email from u -last year "

Pagi dingin 'gak ada sinar mentari
Dan langit pun terlihat gelap
Mendung datang lagi

Aku di sini... sendiri
Aku di sini... oh sepi
Mengapa aku di sini
Jakarta pagi ini

Aku di sini
Walau apa yang terjadi sampai aku mati
Tempatku bukan di sini...
Jakarta pagi ini

I'm not one to say
Where my feelings are going when they wither away
I pray to see another day
My heart's feeling like a needle lost in the hay
Restrained to meet again
My friend do you think that we ever will
I know we are free...

The games are played with your life on the line
Some lose, you win if you keep on trying
I don't mind doing time, I'm happier being alive
Now I know the means to my opression were all lies
The only truth is your own most sacred lesson I've ever learned
I know we are free...

I've been robbed, I've been fooled
I intend now to make my own rules
Dagger's edge cut the line, I've been down that road
too many times

What's to fear, fear no more
Show my conscience what fears's for
Now I know this is so real
What's done is done so do as you will!

I'm keeping alive! Go on, no don't look back
Just realize where you've gone
Where are you going to, no lifes not done with you
You're only just begun, to live your life!
for you...

..
im just hate being fools
so better i live alone
...

rindu inikah yang kautitipkan padaku?
setumpuk kalender tua kutemu.
jam yang pecah
berserak kaca di langit tanpa pigura
pendulum mati di antara bangkai angka angka
ceritera melintas dalam buraian detik, menit dan ketukan masa
tersesat aku pada lorong lorong waktu pada pojok
labirin bayangmu pada sudut sudut bibirmu yang kelu
di mana pintu?
dinding dinding beku
lurus kepakmu,
menuli bisu pada teriakan gelombang
dan derit pintu.
jejak jejak gemeretak di balik punggungmu
inikah rindu yang kautitipkan padaku?

...............
sampai kapan ?

Sapaan pagi yang lembut
menawarkan sepinggan kabut
tipis mengiris palung hati
seakan ada rasa yang terpaksa mati

Ayunan langkah yang ringan,
kini terasa berat menyapa,
mencoba menggapai
sisa-sia rasa cinta
masihkah tersisa?....

Wajahmu lembut mengemasi duka
coba kubiarkan berlalu,
bohong,
ya aku tlah berbohong bahwa aku bisa
melupakan dan mengantikan kamu.....

tidak, aku coba tuk berdiri
disisi hati dan cinta,
atas nama persahabatan palsu,
semua palsu dan aku sadari
aku harus jujur,
bahwa hanya kamu yang aku cintai...

..
buat kamu ..
yang pernah peduli kepadaku

selalu saja ada embun di hatimu yang tak pernah
menguap oleh gilas waktu. selalu saja ada rimbun daun
daun manakala lelahku menghampirimu. engkaukah telaga
bening yang kutatap tiada jemu, semenjak kau kibaskan
jubah pesonamu, lewat siluet yang teduh. aku
menghampirimu dalam bisu dalam gelap bayangku meski
rinduku begitu ingin mencium jentik jemari bijaksanamu
dalam dekat yang takzim. bibirmu serupa oase bagi jiwa
yang dahaga.


...
even though we are far
but half of u still stay in here
...

tumpah tumpahlah seluruh airmata seluruh sedu seluruh
pekik seluruh raung agar lepas segala duka segala
perih segala jerit di dada meruah darah memerah
jantung menganga luka mencucur dera menghempas raga di
tanah basah basah air mata meronta jiwa gelegak rasa.
lepas lepaslah segala pedih segala lara segala sedan
segala pekat menggelayut jiwa agar tiada lagi isak
tiada tangis tiada lagi airmata yang tercurah dari
rongga rongga dada;

tuhan, dimanakah bahagia?

seorang pemburu mimpi yang kelelahan
ambruk di atas bantal yang baru ganti sarung.
matanya nyalang menghakimi peradaban saru.
hari ini siksaan demi siksaan mencoba mencongkel jantungnya.
dia libas matahari yang berjejak darah
demi sebuah mimpi akan debur ombak
yang akan merayunya untuk bercinta.


...
it's just a dream that i am in love with u

Malaikat menebarkan selembar daun diatas kepalaku
untuk menuliskan ribuan dosa yang kulakukan hari ini,
sementara setan tertawa mempersiapkan pesta penyambutan untukku
yang terpuruk pada setiap jejak langkahnya

....
if i die before awake
pray the lord to soul to take

The wind has blown through once in my life
Within our thousand encounters,
Pierced through my heart shooting star
Stronger and deeper than friendship

On that day when I lost the fragment of myself,
You filled in all the empty spaces
Day by day
The grief rain incessantly
In the crying earth, supporting each other, the two of us

Those gentle eyes you had
You sing the Blue Requiem
I'll never forget what you said
Playing bell of the end of future
Until the moment I die!!!

What kind of warmth was I giving you
In the night lonier then deeply isolated night
Long way road
Staying beside when lowering my eyes
Always turning my undenying tears into smiles

Those sad eyes you laugh with
Someday you might vanish
That's the presentiment I had
But by looking back into my memory, I can meet you
In that sky

All night long
As if taking the "farewell" under my wings,
Without speaking anything, embraced by the sea of stars
Blue stars

The wind has blown through once in my life
Within our thousand encounters,
Pierced through my heart shooting star
Its stronger and deeper than friendship

Your had gentle eyes
You sing the Blue Requiem
I miss you, but i'll never forget what you said
Playing the bell of the end of future
Until the moment I die!!!

..
Blue Requiem - Tsubokura Yuiko
..

what we do here ?
every day pretending that we are good
fooling around
act like a wise guy

am i weird ?
am i sick ?

think all over and over again ..
it's always come around and around
all over my head
dunno why
many people said to me
u will be fine
u'll be ok
but ?
it just what they said
but i take those life

i dunno what i happen to me
am i damned
am i curse
am i sinner

but if that so ..
why i am still life in here

are this my punishment ?
and i never understand ..

many people come around and said they promise not to leave me
and they will not leave as long as they stay
but when they gone
they never come back

as long as u needed
they will return to u
otherwise u just a memories

.........
pretending that u are love me it is not help me out
just make me feel sick
.

what is better ?
between what u seen and the thing behind that ?
the one who has sacrifice eveything for someone that he care and now he's forgotten just because the way he looks physically
it's ironic .

what is better than that ?
Face can change easily but the hearts ?

..
once i knew u and that's enough

.HurryCane - Raised By Hatred.
Demon Eyes Kyo


Human is the Greatest Beast than the Beast it self

My last night here for you
Same old songs,just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Oh, did you ever know?
that I had mine on you


....................................................
I'm more than the dress and the voice
...................................................

Tonight i'm gonna hold you
I'm gonna touch you, and lay you down
Tonight i'm gonna kiss you
I'm gonna taste you, all the way down
La...la...la...

Tonight when i have been inside you
I will lay down beside you , and
Stay all night long
La...la...la...

Tonight you don't have to be lonely
You need only to call me
And i will be down

....
A song on IRC ..

Virtue : you don't need a reason to love the people
Sorrow : how you prove that u exist even you not beileve for your existing
Despair : to be forgoten is worse than death
Arogance : the only dependable thing about the future is uncertainity
Solitude : i don't wanna be alone anymore

Who can say
Where the road goes
Where the day flows
Only time

And who can say
If your love grows
As your heart chose
Only time

Who can say
Why your heart sighs
As your love flies
Only time

And who can say
Why your heart cries
When your love lies
Only time

Who can say
When the roads meet
That love might be
In your heart

And who can say
When the day sleeps
If the night keeps
All your heart

Night keeps all your heart

Who can say
If your love grows
As your heart chose
Only time

And who can say
Where the road goes
Where the day flows
Only time

Who knows - only time
Who knows - only time

...
i miss u .

Kyrie, rex genitor ingenite, vera essentia, eleyson.
Kyrie, luminis fons rerumque conditor, eleyson.
Kyrie, qui nos tuæ imaginis signasti specie, eleyson.

Christe, Dei forma humana particeps, eleyson.
Christe, lux oriens per quem sunt omnia, eleyson.
Christe, qui perfecta es sapientia, eleyson.

Kyrie, spiritus vivifice, vitæ vis, eleyson.
Kyrie, utriqusque vapor in quo cuncta, eleyson.
Kyrie, expurgator scelerum et largitor gratitæ; quæsumus propter nostrasoffensas noli nos relinquere, O consolator dolentis animæ, eleyson

Kyrie Eleyson

..
Lord Mercy Us
..

Mengerti aku,
ketika cahaya mentari pagi
cuma mau menyentuh pinggir ari.
Tak dibiarkannya sebentuk sisi benak
meraup-raup ingin dijarah barang semenit agar terbasuh,
terhangatkan

Mengerti aku,
ketika bunga tertangkap mata
indahnya cuma bisa dilihat di ujung kelopak.
Wewangian semerbak tak mampu
mengharuskan kepala untuk lebih memandang ke dalam
sebab kelopak tengahnya telah rapuh,
melunglai dan kaku

Mengerti aku,
ketika sederet kalimat mengibarkan panji-panji rindu
cuma bisa dinikmati hari-hari lalu
sementara sekarang,
sekata pun tak lagi mampu sekadar menina bobokan
kepenatan sehari mencari cita

Mengerti aku...

...
prety damn bored
..

I said goodnight LA
Cause I'm awake in my room
I've been up for 38 hours

And it don't look like sleep's coming soon
Cause I could break like a bird
Or I could swallow the sea
It seems like the daylight is coming
No one is watching but me
But I don't mind the dark

Discovering the day
Cause the night is a beautiful bright blue and gray
what brings me down now is love
cause I can never get enough
And what brings me down now is love
cause I can never get enough of love

And it's a dangerous time
for a heart on a wire
Shuttle from station to station
noisily not knowing why
So I put my head on the ground
and the sky is a wheel
Spinning these days into things that I've lost
But you can keep all the years
But I don't mind the days
gone rolling away

Cause all this sunlight feels warm on my face today
But what brings me down now is love
cause I can never get enough
What brings me down now is love

cause I can never get enough never get enough
Never get enough no no
Never get enough of love
I can never get enough of love

What brings me, brings me down now is love
Cause I can never get enough of love
I can never ever get enough
I can never get enough of love

...
good nite LA
Good nite `tet
...

A love that u want with no future
or
a love that you don't mind with a future ..

which is better ?

hujan yang membasuh rindu, adakah ia yang datang
dari kalbu yang berdentam-dentam di dadamu dan
membuncah-buncah di aliran darahku, mengubah asa jadi
ragu, ketika kata tak lagi menjadi rahasia dan
rahasia pun mencari makna, beribu tanya

dan deras yang membasahi sukma, adakah ia menautkan
kau dan aku, menekan mendesak melebur satu,
berdenyar-denyar hasrat ingin menemu, kuyup dalam
gemuruh jasad sendiri, geletar kesumat mengamini
isyarat hati. hanya tatap, mengunci harap,
pada sebuah pinta; segala pinta

.
jauhhhhh .....

when u meet your GOD .. Kill him
when u meet enemy .. Kill him
When u meet your friends .. Kill him
so i will life in no doubt ..

aku pernah bertanya tentang hidup dan kehidupan tentang kau
aku pernah terfikir tentang hidup dan kematian tentang kau
lantas ku tolak tambah ku campur dan ku jabarkan sekali lagi
jawabannya satu masa ada aku ada kau dan kehidupan
satu masa ada aku , ada kau dan ada kenangan
satu masa itu ku kenang agar disatu masa yang lain ia menjalin
kenangan yang bermusim


...
terhenyak dalam sepi
..

no gifts
no candle
no cheers
no cake
no balloons
no mom kiss
no dad hugs
no friends laugh

i am all alone
with my dust pillow
with my dirt bed
with my darken room
with all my lonelyness
with my wishes

....
H`ppy b`day JaLu
....

selesai sudah satu masa
ku harus kembali
kesatu tempat
dimana harusnya aku berada
dan
semuanya kembali
kepada Dia

selesai sudah ...

"De .. kamu hanya tunggu waktu kamu .. bertahanlah sampai waktumu tiba ... "

Kujamah tubuhmu yang wangi
kutelusuri bibirmu dengan jemari.
Ketika rasa salah menindihku
aku hanya merasakan satu,


Aku Cinta Padamu!

pada angin yang menutup pintu kukatakan bahwa aku
masih menungguimu,
tegak berdiri seperti bongkahan batu
yang menopang beton-beton lumut,
kukatakan juga
aku sangat merindu jarimu yang berkelok-kelok

bingkai jendela menyerupai kanvas abadi,
lalu tanpa kuas kulukis wajahmu,
gerimis membentuk rambutmu
pohon-pohon bersilang daunnya hijau merimbun
angin bergerak pada jendela,
wajahmu tersenyum

ah,
penantian ini tak kunjung usai,
tak selesai hanya angin yang tabah berhembus dan menutup jendela serta pintu,
aku di luar rumah menangis

...
aku rindu ...

Inilah sebuah pahit kenyataan hidup
ketika aku harus menentukan lurus jalan
sedang ketika itu aku dalam sebuah perjalanan

adakah hidup itu tidak lebih
dari pada lahir,
tumbuh kemudian mati
setelah mati,
aku tak tahu lagi.

....
Quo VadiS ..

Duduk sendiri
menatap kota ini
seperti kupu-kupu
menerjang lampu
terkapar lalu
Mati!

...
life is too short ..

tak ada cinta di rumah itu kini...

tak ada taman di halaman rumah itu kini, tak ada
maka kutanam pohon pohon bunga,
kolam dengan ikan ikan coi warnawarni di hati.
juga pancuran dari mata air nurani...

tak ada cinta di dalam rumah itu kini, tak ada
cinta mungkin telah pergi bersama embun embun pagi,
pada lembar daun terakhir yang gugur, menguap ke langit tinggi.

tapi ada yang tetap tumbuh dalam taman taman di hati,
seiring dengan mekarnya bunga,
hilir mudik kupu-kupu serta gemulai ikan ikan koi yang menari...

lalu aku selalu memilih diam dalam ruangruang relung hati.
entah,
apakah akan kucari cinta yang telah pergi,
bersama embunembun pagi pada lembar daun terakhir yang gugur,
menguap ke langit tinggi?

... sungguh
dulu cinta tinggal di rumah itu ..

We'll try to stay blind
to the hope and fear outside
stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry

Who do you need,
who do you love

.........

asing
sepi
disapa malam
perempuan
dan aroma splash cologne
dalam afair-afair terlalu dini

...
tolong aku ...

Fuck it all and no regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
I need a voice to let myself
To let myself go free
Fuck it all and fuckin' no regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
Medallion noose, I hang myself
St. Anger 'round my neck

I feel my world shake
Like an earth quake
It's hard to see clear
Is it me? Is it fear?

I'm madly in anger with you


............... ARGH ..............
DEEP SHIT

pembicaraan 2 hari yg lalu ...

" Halo .. Ade ? apa kabar ? "
"Aku baik baik saja .. ada apa ? "
" Kamu sudah kerja belum ? "
... ( sighs .. pertanyaan yang harus kujawab berulang kali )
" Belum .... "
" Interview kemarin ? gimana ? "
" Ade ga di terima .. "
... ( Keluh )
" Mama pikir kamu udah kerja lagi .. , kemarin mama mimpi Ade datang kasih mama uang banyak "
" Mama , Ade belum dapet kerja .... itu cuma mimpi ... "
" ya udah, ... Kapan kamu pulang ... "
" ..... ( Awan semakin mendung ... ) ntah .. Ade gak tahu kapan bisa pulang ... "
" ... ( nada suara itu terdengar lagi ... ) ya udah .. kamu baik baik aja ya ... Mama kangen kamu ...
" Ade juga ... Love u mom .. "
" Love u too "

Hang up tone ..... tuttttttttttt

berlari
bersembunyi
masih di kamar kecil yang berdebu
di pojok aku menangis ...

maafkan Ade Ma ....

Affectation was an early sign
Of a twisted mind
All virtues had faded away
Apprehension made her cold
But warm she was inside
The child within her died
And left her with a heart of stone

Surface anger was a thin disguise
Yet at night she cries
Behold the pain in her eyes
Degradation was a grind
Her true self left behind
Compassion you will find
Hidden by a veil of deception

And so the story goes
That's the way she chose to live her life
And anybody knows
The way it feels when you hurt inside
She's running from herself
The game of life in which she played

Looking back upon the early years
There was room for tears
But she chose to push them away
Condemnation was a vice
She chose to roll the dice
And so she paid the price
Misery was her only friend

Inner feelings were a neutral zone
Though she tried to condone
In a world she faced so alone
Her salvation came too late
And on that day she died
No one even cried
Forgot about the veil of deception

And so the story goes
That's the way she chose to live her life
And anybody knows
The way it feels when your hurt inside
She's running from herself
The game of life in which she played

..
to a friend
....

Disgraced Rose

Deeper into the Blue sky
Illusionary dreams are Whiter
Wings scatter To a thousand pieces
The Original Sin Is bloodier
The calling voice Farther
We fulfill ourselves For that coming day

Sanctus, E-u Sanctus,
(Are we more Holy, Are we more Holy,)
Où est la Lumière . . . Ah, c'est toi?
(Where is the light . . . Is that you?)

The currents breezes Higher
Eternity more Sapphire
With our wandering Memories

The lake Darkens
The hymn sings out Pure
We waken and Open our eyes

Only You
Of so Far away,
It falls to the ground This rose
O-la Sanctus . . .

Are we more holy . . . ?

I'm a fallen angel,
Fallen for the high,
A shamanic apprentice,
Until the day I die.
I don't see life.
I don't see death.
It's all just shades of grey.
I don't see how.
I don't see why.
They're the same anyway.

...
Quo Vadis ? ....

I will wait for you in Baton Rouge
I'll miss you down in New Orleans
I'll wait for you while she slips in something comfortable
I'll miss you when I'm slipping in between
If you wrap yourself in daffodils
I will wrap myself in pain
If you're the queen of California,
baby I am the king of the rain

The moon is a satellite
and wont you fall down on me now,
cause Im all alone, you ain't coming home
we just settle down down into bone
I said I'm all alone. you ain't coming home
we just settle down down down into bone

.miss u.

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an
establishment of religion, or prohibiting the
free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom
of speech, or of the press; or the right of the
people peaceably to assemble, and to petition
the Government for a redress of grievances.

SELF, SACRIFICE, EVERYNIGHT
AND TOGETHER WE PAID A PRICE IN BLOOD
THAT SPILLED OUT THROUGH THE YEARS
AND ANOTHER DAY PASSES AWAY
LOOK TO THE BLACK, DRAWN FARTHER BACK
LOOK TO EACH DAY,SEE THE DECAY
TIMES I'VE HAD, GOOD AND BAD
WIN OR LOSE, THIS IS WHAT I CHOOSE...

ah ga tahu lah
ngakunya chek up .. ternyata operasi
.. gak tahu d

Here I stand head in hand
Turn my face to the wall
If she's gone I can't go on
Feeling two foot small
Everywhere people stare
each and every day
I can see them laugh at me
And I hear them say

Hey you've got to hide your love away
Hey you've got to hide your love away

How can I even try?
I can never win
Hearing them, seeing them
In the state I'm in
How could she say to me
"Love will find a way?"
Gather round all you clowns
Let me hear you say

Hey you've got to hide your love away
Hey you've got to hide your love away


Eddie Vedder - You got to hide your love away

tlagu ini merupakan OST dari I am Sam, yg maen Sean Pean. dia jadi orang idiot n punya anak cewek normal n pinter. kadang anaknya sendiri mikir kok babe gue idiot ya .. but that is not the main topict. the matter is when ppl knows bout Sam .. social dept want to take over and separate them .. so the story is begin .. must see

Ragnarok ..
Atrus the Hunter n DreamRain the Assasins together into Rune of Midgrad ....
and the story is begun ...

On a cold wet
afternoon
no room for love and emptiness
by a freeway
i confess i was lost in the pages
of a book
full of death
reading how we'll die alone
and if a god will lay to rest
anywhere we want to go
in your house
i long to be
room by room
patiently

i'll wait for you there
like a stone
i'll wait for you there
alone

and on my death bed
i will prey
to the gods and the angels
like a pagan
to anyone who will take me to heaven
to a place
i would recall
i was there so long ago
the sky was bruised
the world was black
and there you led me on

in your house
i long to be
room by room
patiently
i'll wait for you there
liek a stone
i'll wait for you there
alone

in all i read
till the day was gone
and i sat in regret
in all the things i've done
for all that i've blessed
and all that i've wronged
in dreams till my death
i will wonder on

in your house
i long to be
room by room
patiently
i'll wait for you there
like a stone
i'll wait for you there
alone
alone

This circus is falling down on its knees
The big top is crumbling down
It's raining in Baltimore fifty miles east
Where you should be, no one's around

I need a phone call
I need a raincoat
I need a big love
I need a phone call

These train conversations are passing me by
And I don't have nothing to say
You get what you pay for
But I just had no intention of living this way

I need a phone call
I need a plane ride
I need a sunburn
I need a raincoat

And I get no answers
And I don't get no change
It's raining in Baltimore, baby
But everything else is the same

There's things I remember and things I forget
I miss you I guess that I should
Three thousand five hundred miles away
But what would you change if you could?

I need a phone call
Maybe I should buy a new car
I can always hear a freight train if I listen real hard
And I wish it was a small world
Because I'm lonely for the big towns
I'd like to hear a little guitar
I think it's time to put the top down

I need a phone call
I need a raincoat

Conting Crows - Raining in Baltimore

Love Is...
Love is what you feel for someone or something close to you,
whether it is a relative, friend or even a pet.
Either one is great just as long as you love,
because a life without love isn't really a life at all,
for there is no happiness in life without it.
Some say love is like a flower; it blooms and grows,
but I don't think anyone could explain love unless they have felt it.
And, even then sometimes, you still can't, for love goes deeper than explanation,
to the very soul of someone's body, and will always be there forever.
So, if love finds you, don't be afraid to follow it.
For behind that love may be the person
that you are destined to love
for all eternity.............

another fight again
in the morning
always same question

and i am sick of this

what do u really want ?
do i have to gone in to deep ?
do i have to live alone ?
do i have not to know anyone ?
do u want me to live behind the bars ?
is that what u want me to do ?

so the story like this : .
lagi baca baca forum di kaskus. the talk about Metallica. then i before that i heard on MTV icon that will be release on next Saturday 24 May. but they said the clip is already publish on the net. at first i try to seek them . then i found they mp3's file . i downloaded them. but not satisfied enough . so i seek to the video. then i found. so i start to download those file.
before that i wonder what is Metallica Mtv Icon. uhm when i read those a tribute for Metallica. so i am the biggest fans ot them try to seek . because so far i just got 3 kind of their tribute. Industrial verse, hard rock verse and 4 cello verse ( can u imagine metallica's song played by 4 cello's ) that was damn cool. heartbreaking !

SO the 1rst one finished is Korn, they play One. the 2nd song that win an Award.
uhm .. i see those crowd sing a long .. and Hetfield , Lars , Hammet and their new bassist on the back. watch them play .. i got no any comment
the think i know is my tears rolls down :(

dunno why .. but when i play it again . those tears keep rollin` down .. hiks

Terharu saya .....

aku melihat tubuh penuh luka
di setiap sudut lekuknya yang terseru
mendoa kata sambil termangu
aku berkata : "perempuan"

terlintas di matanya sebuah asa
memecah hampa dari kebinasaan
itu tangan memiliki kesucian
aku berkata : "perempuan"

pada tubuhnya aku bernyanyi
membisu ingin tahu
apa pantas tubuh ini penuh luka?

kalau saja kaki tak terpaku
kalau saja mata tak membatu
pastilah aku lebih bahagia melagu
melihat perempuan berjalan memandangiku

bersama perahu yang kubentuk dari doa doaku
apakah aku akan sampai padamu?
sedang laut yang kularungi
telah menjelma benda-benda
menyedotku ke dalam palungnya yang paling kelam
di tempat karang, ikan, kepiting, ubur-ubur
menjadi benda-benda gemerlap.
lalu langit warna biru itu dipenuhi sistem tata surya
yang kacau. hingga kubiarkan gemerlap itu menjadi peta

bersama gemerlap benda-benda laut itu
kapan aku akan sampai padamu?

ps.
kapan ya

seperti ranting di tepian pantai
terkoyak ombak
dan rerintik hujan
menangisi kesepian
masih saja kau tunggu perahu itu
dan tak peduli koyaknya ranting disudut jempol kakimu

ps.
untuk seorang teman ...

You've got such a pretty smile.
It's a shame the things you hide behind it.
Let um go give it up for a while...
Let um free and we will both go find it.

I know there's no where you can hide it.
I know the feeling of alone.
I know that you do not feel invited,
But come back, come back in from the cold.

Step away from the edge.
Your best friend in life is not your mirror.
Back away come back away come back away...
I am here and I will be forever and ever and i...

I know that there's no where you can hide it.
I know the feeling of alone.
Trust me and don't keep that on the inside.
Soon you...you'll be locked out on your own.

You're not alone...

You're not alone...

And don't say you've never been told.
I'll be with you till we grow old...
Till am old grown and i'm cold..

I'm not further beyond the grown..
I'll be with you till we grow up young..
Like a dog you can always come home..
Pick up a bone..
Look around town baby down town
Don't throw me to the pound..
Look around look around...

...
i know - Jude

when someone you love dies, are they gone forever ?
what would you ask someone who's crossed over to the other side ?
would u believe it if someone who's passed on tried to contact u ?
what would u do today if there were no tomorrow


decision on you

full moon..

..
cepet sembu ya cayang
*luv u*

dear rain.
ini pagi .. bukan sama sekali pagi yang menyenangkan .
hanya satu yg perlu di pertahankan .. kepercayaan ..
di satu sisi .curiga yang berlebihan ..
apa salahnya sih .. kalo gue nolong temen cewek .. kasih tahu bagaimana caranya dia bisa membuat sesuatu yg lebih baik ..
apa itu salah dan kemudian cewek itu leave message ke gue .. ?

rain..
emang susah untuk dapat dipercaya kembali .. sekali fail and u will be fail at all
no matter how hard u have persuade her .. but already torn her before
i knew it was my fault . and i have try and do all my best to fixed it up ..
and it's so hard to get it back like was before ..

rain..
am i not deserve to get her trusty fr her again ?
cos i have broke her so much ..

rain..
tell me if that wrong ...




these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

my immortal
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

feat. Evaessence - My imortal

Something
Is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it is

I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did

And hardness
It sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin

I want you to know
That you don't need me anymore
I want you to know
You don't need anyone
Or anything at all

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know
Which way the wind will blow

Who's to know when the time has come around
Don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

It's somewhere I can taste the salty sea
There's a kite blowing out of control on the breeze
I wonder what's gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me

I'm a man
I'm not a child
A man who sees
The shadow behind your eyes

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know
Where the wind will blow

Who's to know when the time has come around
I don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

Did I waste it
Not so much I couldn't taste it
Life should be fragrant
Rooftop to the basement

The last of the rocks stars
When hip-hop drove the big cars
In the time when new media
Was the big idea
What was the big idea

uhm
karena shoutbox dr dekap.com ndak bisa di resolve sama indosat
jadi terpaksa ganti SB

pake ini aja d
yg penting ada

- incoming message received -
"Jalu .. cintakah kamu dengan Cia .. Cia ingin kita cepat menikah "

aku tersenyum ..
aku berharap ...

tahun besok better than last ..
wish us ..

akhirnya uplink satelitenya up kembali .. cuman hmm several dns still not up .. :(
170 Mb been downloaded only in 1 hour .. kwel . back to normal again ..
bisa nemenin dreamrain ku lagi kalo dia lagi di kantor ...

ah bisa maen Shatered Galaxy lagi ..
bisa upload web lagi ...

cool ah ..

.Dj Rain feat Generals theme.

if someone that we love die
are they gone forever ?

What if I give you my smile?
Are you gonna stay for a while?
What if I put you in my dreams tonight?
Are you gonna stay 'till it's bright?

What if I give you my story?
Are you gonna listen to me?
What if I give you my heart?
Are we never gonna be apart?

What if... if I do ignore you?
Will you just walk away and cry?
What if I did disappoint you?
Are you gonna say goodbye?

What if I try to catch a flying snitch?
Are you gonna come with me?
What if I give you my song?
Are we gonna sing along?

What if... if you leave me right here?
I'm right here and waiting for you

...
come baby try harder ... and i will do just like u want it too .

uhm..
ini malem sendirian .. baca 3 sms yg masuk .. made me smile ..
someone miss much .. me too . i miss u too ..
kadang gue suka baca log log chat yg suka bikin gue senyum senyum sendiri ... wishing they will be get real soon ..
honey i miss u too .. pls hang on till the time when we will not be apart anymore ..

sambil mam PoP mie nonton True Romance .. fhew .. that movie one of my fav movie ..
n then i saw Yuna smile .. remind me to your smile ..

Cia.. kalo kamu masih suka buka web ini .. gbr Yuna yg jalu buat .. itu buat kamu ..
.
Uyet .. nice to see your msg write over there ..
and guys .. thx for supporting ..

my dreamrain

"genggamlah yang ada di depanmu
setangkai mawar hutan merah jambu
merekah sempurna di antara bunga-bunga
kecuplah sebelum musim berganti rupa
sebelum helai demi helai kelopaknya jatuh
bersama denting masa

kecuplah penuh kasih, walau duri-duri
lukai jemarimu, tetap dalam cinta-selamanya
matahari abadikan sinarnya, alam hadirkan
keindahannya: untukmu semata"

. buat Cia .

damn .. i forgot my friends wedding .. gara gara maen CM4 n semalam tiba tiba bad mood setelah nonjokin itu maling kecil.. ngerti apa sih dia ... tapi :( dah lewat .. padahal sebelom itu dah janji dalam hati ga mau mukul orang .. but .. he been arise my deep emotion. akhirnya -- BukKkk .. satu tonjokan ke muka .. n abis itu gue shaking ... krn anger gua dah mentok mpe ke ubun ubun .. napsu makan ilang .. at last Cia call me .. and she make me cool .. akhirnya itu anak kita tlanjangin n disuruh pulang.. hope dia kapok .. better gitu deh. dari pada makin lama disini makin bonyok mending gitu aja..

malem .. liad tipi .. stel stel ga ada yg bagus eh .. tau tahu kenapa juga gue nonton wayang .. damn been long time ga nonton wayang kulit .. gua ketawa tawa ndiri liad "Goro Goro-nya" temen gua bengong soalnya dia ga ngarti .. afterthat sleepless
.. n met my dreamrain in my dream ..

wake up in the morning by Call .. "Jal, Elo ga dateng ke kawinan si Dimas ? " DAMN !!!!! i forgot ..

btw .. im in happy cos my dreamrain cembuW ...

there is nothing i can explain in here than i hear your laughing in my phone again ...
Cia .. Jalu akan selalu bersama kamu ..

"sayang aku sudah sembuh ,, aku sudah bisa lompat lompat lagi."
"Kamu ada dimana ?"
"Aku sudah masuk kantor."

lewat lah sudah satu masa.

"Sayang, Cia kangen .. kamu sedang apa ?,"
"Jalu sedang beli makan malam... Cia sudah makan ? "
"Cia sudah makan .. uhmm besok Cia mau ke salon. Mau keriting sama highlight. Boleh ya ... "
"ndak .. jelek .. "
"Tapi aku sudah buat janji.."
"ah kamu .. dari dulu pasti kalo tahu Jalu ga akan kasih ijin pasti kamu kerjain dulu baru kasih tahu .. *thuQs* .. luv you honey, send pic ke rumah ya .. janji .. "

Kamu masih nakal spt dulu .. dan aku suka itu ..

"Jalu .. Cia ga bisa bobo :(( "
"Kenapa ? .. "
"tadi pas tutup telpon ke kamu .. radio pasang Lagu kita .. jadi bikin Cia ga bisa bobo .. "

aku hanya bisa tersenyum ...
aku pun memutar lagu kamu disini .. on my MP3 box

feat. Utada Hikaru - First Love

....
Lost in Space ...
...

there is something that have to be fix..
beetwen dia , aku dan kamu ...

-message received -
"kk Jalu percaya gak .. kalo CC cia bisa sembuh .. Cika percaya cc Cia bisa sembuh , kalau gak salah, besok dokternya datang .. kk Jalu doain aja supaya cc Cia sembuh"

.tears roll down .. the rain was drown .
wish this is the dreamrain came and give his miracle to us ...
She is only 14 years old .. and i knew her since 9 .. still not a change .. cause of you , Cika .. aku n Cia masih bisa bersama sampai sekarang ..

feat. Avril Lavigne .. im with u

I'm gonna take you
To a place far from here
No one will see us
Watch the pain as it disappears

No time for anger
No time for despair
Won't you come with me
There's room for us there

This innocent beauty
My words can't describe
This rebirth to purity
Brings a sullen tear right to your eyes

No time for anger
No time for despair
Please let me take you
'Cause I'm already there

I'm so alone
My head's my home
I'll return to serenity

Rhyme without reason
Is why children cry
They see through the system
That's breeding them just so they die

So please let me take you
And I'll show you the truth
Inside my reality
We shared in my youth

I'm so alone
My head's my home
And I feel
So alone
You know
At last
I return to serenity

Now that I've taken you
To a place far from here
I really must go back
Close your eyes and we'll disappear

Won't you come with me
Salvation we'll share
Inside of my head now
There's room for us there

ps. take me to your serenity

- message received -
"KK Jalu .. ini Cika .. sebenarnya cc Cia masuk rumah sakit dari jam 4 tadi sore .. HP nya di umpetin .. cc Cia gga mau kasih tahu ke KK Jalu .."

-message received -
"If i don't get my medicine by tommorow 2.pm .. i will gone and with u with the eternity ......"

.takdir .. atau nasib .
menghitung bintang...

feat. TestamenT - Musical of Death

- message receive -
Sayang .. cia sudah di rumah .. tadi habis jalan makan ice cream -

aku tersenyum

- message receive -
"Jalu .. kenapa kamu tidak bangunin Cia hari ini .. Kamu janji mau bangunin Cia ini hari."
linked 1/3

"Jalu sampai kapan ... ? Cia benci kalo Jalu bohong. Kalau tidak bisa tidak usah janji sama Cia, dari dulu Cia sudah bilang .. sudah lupakan ..
Cia bosan di rumah .."
linked 2/3

"Besok ada kabar dari dokter .. Kamu sedang apa ? Cia sedang dengar kaset kamu .."

aku lupa ... maafkan Jalu .. :(
Kabari aku ....
sampai 07.02 am masih belum juga ada kabar ..
-gundah-

Virtue : you don't need a reason to love the people
Sorrow : how you prove that u exist even you are not beileve for your existing
despair : to be forgoten is worse than death
arogance : the only dependable thing about the future is uncertainity
Solitude : i don't wanna be alone anymore

ps.
pls let me there till the time took us apart

luvCia

Will you be there beside me
If the world falls apart
And will all of out moments
Remain in your heart
Will you be there to guide me
All the way through, I wonder will you

Walk by my side, and follow my dreams
And bear with my pride, as strong as it seems
Will ou be there tomorrow

Will you be there beside me
As time goes on by
And be there to hold me
Whenever I cry
Will you be there to guide me
All the way through, I wonder will you

Walk by my side, and follow my dreams

tommorow....

apa yang selama ini menjadi ketakutan kita.. akhirnya semakin menjadi nyata dan dekat.. dari awal kamu sudah beri tahu ttg hal itu . dan selama ini semua prediksimu selalu meleset. dan aku pikir semua fenomena di antara kita akan berlalu..

Pada saat kamu bicara " Sayang, aku sudah sembuh " , tidak ada hal yang termanis selain kesembuhannya.. Dan semua galau yg ada di dalam hatiku telah hilang, dan semua berjalan sebagaimana mestinya.

Tapi tidak untuk malam ini.. ketika telpon itu berbunyi. Telpon yang harusnya membawa berita baik .. dimana harusnya kita bisa melepaskan semua rasa rindu kita yang selama ini terpendam, dan tertahan di antara kita... harusnya ..
Semua hilang saat kau ceritakan semua .. kamu katakan rindu akan diriku.. semua ttg diriku .. tapi dibalik itu kamu katakan semua .. mungkin .. untuk yang terakhir kali..

"Jalu .. sampai kapankah dirimu akan tetap mencintai Cia.. , apakah Jalu akan tetap selamanya mencintai Cia ... walaupun Cia sudah pergi meninggalkan Jalu untuk selamanya .. Jalu, Cia takut sendirian nanti disana, hanya Raven n kaset itu yang akan Cia bawa. Cia ingin Jalu ikut dengan Cia. tapi itu tidak mungkin. Cia tidak boleh egois. kamu masih punya hak untuk terus disana.. tapi Cia akan tetap bersama Jalu, kemana pun kamu berada. Cia akan tetap bersama kamu, Jika kamu ingin keajaiban untuk kita. Cia mohon JaLu berdoa .. agar obat itu bisa datang dalam 1 bulan ini. jika tidak .. Jalu akan pulang kerumah dan disitulah Jalu akan bertemu Cia untuk yang terakhir."

"Jalu.. masih ingatkah kamu tentang suara ini ? ........ "
"itu kaset yang aku kirimkan untuk kamu bawa saat kamu di GuangZhou, sampai saat ini kamu masih memutarnya ? "
"Hanya kaset itu yg bisa membuat Cia bertahan sampai sekarang .. dan ini adalah lagu kita .. " dan kamu pun tertawa kecil.

"Jalu .. siapakah wanita itu yg ada di dalam web itu ? "
"Dia hanya teman... the last one i had "
"Bolehkah Cia berkenalan dengannya ? Cia ingin tahu teman kamu .. Cia ingin ada yg bisa menjaga kamu dan care sama kamu "
"Apa yang kamu bicarakan Cia ? " ... dan kita pun terdiam ..

"Jalu.. aku harus tidur .. tapi aku ingin Jalu ada di sisi Cia ..
promise me ...
kamu akan tetap selalu mencintai Cia .. " ...

dan aku pun terdiam ...


-message received-
"Cia pengen, baget kalau boleh cia ingin disamping kamu"

-message received-
"Met bobo honey. Didalam mimpiku pasti ada kamu. Cia ingin berpesan, smoga kamu selalu dan selamanya mencintaiku apa adanya"

.. aku terdiam ..
..terhempas dalam..

"Tuhanku jika diriMu berkenan .. Semua adalah kehendakmu"

.feat Europe - Tommorow

what would u do ..
when your dearest people tell you
that they will leaving u for the eternity ...

what would u do
when your dearest people tell you
their last testament ...

what would u do
when your dearest people tell you
that they will wait u in the others life..

what would u do
when your dearest people ask you
"will you find me when we are in heaven ? "

what if..

There´s a place that I´d like to reach
I have tried and tried and tried and tried
To the secret places that you keep
I am repeatedly denied

There´s a voice that I´d like to hear
Words of a poet that I used to know
Now your eyes they keep staring into nowhere
If I knew what was hurting you so

won´t you let me in
I´m on your side

Do you still love me?
Do you honestly care?
´Cause I am still with you
But you are elsewhere

You are elsewhere
..........................
..............
.....
...

u think this world is fair enough ??

semalem buka YM ga ada sapa sapa sih. cuma ada satu nick idup ..
aquatic ... long time i never talk with her ..
then aku sapa dia .. ternyata di jawab ..
fhew ... she was my peniupsalju ..
epti .. nice to talk with u .. again ..
sorry i have deleting your web in my pages ... i need more space ..
promise i will made a new one with that little angel fly around ..
promise ... peniupsalju ...

i give my heart and soul to the one

You hear about
Who leaves his family for
An easy out
They never saw the signs
He never said a word
He couldn't take another day

Carry me to the shoreline
Bury me in the sand
Walk me across the water
And maybe you'll understand

.ps
hope u understand
im here still seeking for what been missing ..

suntuk sangat ini ISP
tadi tagbordnya bisa ke resolve baru 5 menit di refresh ndak bisa kebuka lagi
dogol nya ...

ga bisa liad pesen kamu deh..

wondering ...
hai .. sedang apa kamu disana ...

aku gak pernah bisa ngelupain ttg satu ini..
terlalu manis untuk di buang..
biar saja dia begitu adanya...

ps..
dikna ngerti kan maksud masna..

anime bener ya
ndak tahu ini ide dari mana
just come ... SPLASHH ~~~
jadi deh
luv that hero

there is another cute Avatar :) ( i think )



eww
kalo ada bonekanya gue beli d
buat nemenin Koala gue
-gigit gigit gemesna-

wanna see my cute uyet :)
chek diz one



LuCu kann
gemes - peyoQ PeyOQ -

semalem naek 2 lvl huhuhu
dah pake topi sama glasses baru
uwww cenengnahh

awas ga boyeh naksir ma uyet kuw ini
-jitaQs-

uhm
future seem so bright tapi kenapa ya aku jadi pesimis gini..
banyak offering tapi aku ndak brani ambil yg mana
kerja di karaoke ?
bikin webnya Djarum super ?
masuk ke team DigiKom ?
bikin ISP sama PLN
ato pindah ke jogja kerja disana

GOD gimme sign :( pls

Looking at the pages of my life
Faded memories of me and you
Mistakes you know I've made a few
I took some shots and fell from time to time
Baby, you were there to pull me through
We've been around the block a time or two
I'm gonna lay it on the line
Ask me how we've come this far
The answer's written in my eyes

Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues, baby
We've been to hell and back again
Through it all you're always my best friend
For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do
Tonight I'm gonna find a way

Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

You can take this world away
You're everything I am
Just read the lines upon my face
I'm all about lovin' you

Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

All about lovin' you - Bon Jovi

ps.
Cia .. we've been together for 5 years .. and now we face the very hard time ..
all the think that i have done it's cause of your existence in my life
your life is worth much for me ..
even if in the last we find the death end ..
i want to remember all those thing
u are my best
no one can compare u ..
remembet that
no one can replace u ...
love u evar
might GOD bless us

yours LuV
JaLu

Saya Belajar ,
Bahwa saya tidak dapat memaksa orang lain mencintai saya
Saya hanya dapat melakukan sesuatu untuk orang yang saya cintai.......

Saya Belajar,
Bahwa butuh waktu bertahun-tahun untuk membangun kepercayaan & hanya
beberapa detik saja untuk menghancurkannya......

Saya Belajar,
Bahwa yang saya kira adalah orang jahat, justru adalah orang yang
membangkitkan semangat hidup saya kembali serta orang yang begitu perhatian
saya ..........

Saya belajar,
Bahwa sahabat terbaik bersama saya dapat melakukan banyak hal dan kami selalu memiliki waktu terbaik........

Saya belajar,
Bahwa persahabatan sejati senantiasa bertumbuh walau dipisahkan oleh jarak yang jauh.
Beberapa di antaranya melahirkan cinta sejati.......

Saya belajar,
Bahwa jika seseorang tidak melanjutkan perhatian seperti yang saya inginkan,
bukan berarti dia tidak mencintai saya.......

Saya belajar,
Bahwa sebaik-baiknya pasangan itu , mereka pasti pernah melukai perasaan
saya....dan untuk itu saya harus memaafkannya......

Saya belajar,
Bahwa saya harus mengampuni diri sendiri dan orang lain.....,kalau tidak mau
dihantui perasaan bersalah terus menerus........

Saya belajar,
Bahwa tidak masalah berapa buruk patah hati itu ,
Dunia tidak pernah berhenti hanya gara-gara kesedihan saya.......

Saya belajar ,
Bahwa saya tidak dapat merubah orang yang saya sayangi,
Tapi semua itu tergantung pada diri mereka sendiri......

Saya belajar,
Bahwa lingkungan dapat mempengaruhi pribadi saya,
Tapi saya harus bertanggung jawab untuk apa yang telah saya lakukan ....

Saya belajar,
Bahwa dua manusia dapat melihat sebuah benda,
Tapi kadang dari sudut pandang yang berbeda......

Saya belajar,
Bahwa tidaklah penting apa yang saya miliki,
Tapi yang penting adalah siapa saya ini sebenarnya......

Saya belajar,
Bahwa tidak ada yang instant atau serba cepat di dunia ini,
Semua butuh proses dan pertumbuhan , kecuali saya ingin sakit hati.......

Saya belajar,
Bahwa saya harus memilih apakah mengusai sikap dan emosi
Atau sikap dan emosi itu yang menguasai diri saya.....

Saya belajar,
Bahwa saya punya hak untuk marah,
Tetapi bukan berarti saya harus benci dan berlaku bengis......

Saya belajar,
Bahwa kata-kata manis tanpa tindakan adalah saat perpisahaan dengan orang yang saya cintai .....

Saya belajar,
Bahwa orang - orang yang saya kasihi justru sering diambil segera dari kehidupan saya........

...
have u ever learned ?

duh laper begini
mie ayam gak ada
gado gado gak ada
mo makan nasi padang males

jadi inget ....
satu masa ..

Endless Rain ...

we both know
we both miss
we both separated
we both far
we both diferent

wish both ....

arrrghhh...........

dikna kalo sempet baca
uhm disable click kanan masih lom safe. coba kamu cari script yg buat ilangin menu bar ie nya. seinget mas ada kok
soalnya kalo cuma buat ngindarin untuk ndak bisa liat source. disable click kanan . atau kalo mau pake frameset trus di aplikasikan di chromeless.
itu baru safe. kamu buat menghindari penjiplakan kan :)
itu aja d .

hehehe
ilang juga advertise nya
~mwa~ tiggel ndut

janji ..
semua cuma ada janji
ga ada yg pasti ..
capek d nungguin nya

antara jakarta - jogja ...
mana yg kudu di pilih ya .. last decision yang paling critical
ughs

...
Cincin Berlian brapa yak ... :-\

uhm..
i dream about someone from the past ...
what does it mean ...
it's so real
it's so close
very close even i can feel her breath on my skin
her eyes still like the way i look when we sit each others on that christmas eve party
the voice ..
still the same ..
but it's over when i wake up
wish u ok now ..
u still in my seek
just to say thank's
....
......
ps.
you once save my life and till now i still owe u ..
Elizabeth Lovy Susanti
Des 93 - March 94

got no one to talk
got no one to hear
got no one to share

so what i live for ?

ini hari membosankan banget
dari mulai week end awalnya enak install 2 server tapi buntutnya drivernya gak ada.. jauh jauh dr tangerang ke fatmawati.. ya udah abis itu ngetest sound di karaoke .. dah mulai moody .. akhirnya cabut jam 3 pagi ke Strada bantuin anak anak bazar .. rada mendingan .. ada yg bisa di ajak ngobrol .. but afterall basi lagi .. mpe pagi trus jagain bazaar ketemu anak anak .. ya tapi gitu d dah sibuk dengan urusan masing masing.. cuma basa basi say hi doank .. beda banget sama waktu dulu .. saat gue masih kerja. dah ampe jam 3 sore .. exhausted blom bobo dari malem sabtu .. musti ngejar download driver. sampe di warnet ada anak anak viper .. basa basi bentar eh ga dapet paket. dah tambah busuk deh suasana . akhirnya dapet 1 pc yg isinya virus doank .. dah gitu ga bisa nitip masang hardisk buat upload data n download driver .. n bertambah suntuk n suntuk .. coba maen gunbound kalah mulu .. can get clear vision .. coba liad kurusetra .. kerajaan gue di babat abis.. gue telpon temen gue buat bilang ga bisa naro harddisk ternyata dia malah yg ngomel ke gue .. susah de kalo nyerpis orang yg ga ngerti apa apa.. buka Yahoo mesenger yah ndak ada yg bisa buat nemenin sebentar doank buat bicara .. n skarang mo bukan dreamrain malah sama sekali ga bisa kebuka .. a shit lar ..

and check on my self .. what's wrong with me ?
where are those when i need someone to talk to
where are those when i need someone to hear
where are those when i need someone to hung

maybe when im death still no one care
where the fuck are u who call your self a damn Hell my fuckin "FRIEND"
"shit with Friend"
u just care with my fuckin money

oh tak pernah kusangka
sekejap kesanmu
melekat terbawa dalam rasa

sekilas kenangan engkau tinggalkan
begitu memikat oh tak ingin risau jiwaku
mengharapkan engkau jadi milikku

dan seandainya saja pertemuan itu
akan mungkin terjadi kembali
betapa kuingin melihat dirimu
walaupun sekedar merasakan

getar jiwaku mendambakan
engkau jadi milikku

sungguh pesona dirimu
mendekap erat tanganku sinari jiwaku
betapa kudamba hadirmu
di tiap malam-malamku disamping diriku

tak ingin risau jiwaku
mengharapkan engkau menjadi milikku

bayangan dirimu selalu kunantikan
dan tak kunjung hilang
meski mungkin engkau tak sadari

ps.
kamu tahu gak sih kalo aku kangen ?

GeneralS World`s



WhaT YouR OrdeRs ComManDer ?

Lvl. 90 Major General Jalu - Eros WarChief
Garruda Guards Battle Commander
Member of -[ indo preman ]- Regiments

Fame and Glory come and Go.. Greatness Last Forever !!!

kangen itu menghasilkan percintaan yang panas, kita tahu sayang, waktu semakin mendesak, rindu semakin ganas, malam serasa cepat menutup sinar matahari, padahal kita baru memulai kisah yang berlapis cinta, cinta yang kita ciptakan seperti membuat jalan setapak, tempat kita berjalan menuju cita-cita kita.

jalan itu kini semakin jelas, kita berdua telah menanam kepercayaan pada diri kita masing-masing, yang akar nya semakin dalam, sedalam impian kita pada cinta yang membara.

kangen itu selalu menyakitkan. setiap malam, kita memeluk rindu erat-erat. kita berharap, kita bisa menghilang, lalu berpelukan ditempat yang kita ingini, sunyi, berdua kita bercumbu, saling berbisik, ciuman-ciuman hangat dan desahan kenikmatan...

sayangku, aku berjanji akan tetap setia padamu, dan jangan lupakan aku!

uhm...
it was very exciting morning
to hear my dreamrain arise in the morning
remembering to those old day

ew
kok makin jarang bisa telpon dia makin bertambah ya rasanyaLuV my DreamRain

feat. Kosong.